Filed under: football, Hibees, humour, jokes, life, politics, Scotland, sports, stories, work | Tags: beslija, Edinburgh, heart of midlothian, Hearts, hearts fc, Hearts financial services, jambos, life cover, life insurance, lithuania, Scottish Football
Are you worried about the future?
Let’s face it, we’re not getting any younger and we all have to think about our lavish lifestyles after our careers are over.
- Are you well past your best?
- Are you looking for an easy life?
- Are you looking for an easy way to enter Britain?
Then you are eligible for the Hearts Life-Plan!
WE PAY YOU over £10,000 a week, there’s a pointless medical and no salesperson will call (you might even get a shot at being manager).
There’s a FREE house, car and limitless golf at some of Scotland’s finest courses.
Don’t take our word for it, read these recommendations from some very satisfied clients….
“When I’m no longer playing, I know my family will be financially secure”
Mr Beslija, Belgium
“I recommended the Hearts plan to all my friends back home.”
Mr Saulious, Edinburgh
“The Hearts plan supplemented my pension, just when I thought it was too late.”
Mr Pressley, Glasgow
“The generosity of the Hearts plan is unmatched in the world of pension finance. It was the best move I have ever made.”
Mr E Kurkis, Lithuania
“Even when everyone said I was too old, Hearts were prepared to supplement my pension with an outrageous offer.”
Mr Neil, Edinburgh
“Despite being permanently injured I was still eligible for the Hearts Life-plan – year after year!”
Mr Pinilla, Chile
So don’t sit there worrying about the future – relax – that phone will ring!
Hearts Life-Plan is regulated by V Romanov and his pals at the bank and is funded by the 10,000 who have invested in the “HMFC Season Ticket” pyramid scam over the last 3 years.
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