Filed under: Scotland, life, sports | Tags: Andy Robinson. Scotland 9 E, Australia 8, Autumn tests, Matt Giteau, rugby, rugby internationals, Scotland v Australia
OMG.
I just watched the Scotland v Australia rugby match in a state of suspended animation. It was as one-sided a sports event as I have ever seen and yet the team doing all the work lost.
Scotland rode their luck like Mick Kinane on Sea The Stars. But the effort, commitment and resolution was unforgettable and unbelieveable. The stats were hilariously in Australia’s favour but Matt Giteau’s kicking was lamentable. Two tries written off also helped our cause. But really, it was great TV and a great David v Goliath happening.
Huge credit has to be given to our new English Coach, Andy Robinson. And, of course, Scotland’s backs.
Quality.
Filed under: Rants, football, jokes, politics, sports | Tags: 2010 world cup, FIFA, Handball, ireland v france, Irish Football, Thierry Henri
I respect Henri’s frankness.
What disgusts me is FIFA’s predictable support for the big ticket frenchies.
You know what they are?
Gutless.
Filed under: jokes, life, politics | Tags: europe, european president, Herman Van Rompuy, mr burns
Filed under: Arts, books, life, movies | Tags: Cormac McCarthy, nick cave, the road
I am a massive fan of Cormac McCarthy’s The Road (and while you’re at it “No Country for Old Men” is a beast too).
Anyway the movie of the book opens on Jan 8 here in the UK.
Here’s an early (fairly mean)review from NYC. It currently 8.4’s on IMDB.
Doomsday sagas have never been far from our collective American imagination, but they’ve rarely been closer. The end-of-the-world cult of 2012 (Mayan calendar, solar neutrinos, bad vibes from the planet “Nibiru,” etc.) will only fatten its membership in the wake of the idiotic movie of the same name. Throw in (likely) environmental catastrophe, worldwide economic collapse, peak oil, Al Qaeda with Pakistani nukes, Obama the Antichrist, a zombie-cannibal plague, and apocalypse is in the air, la-la. Now comes the starkest doomsday movie yet, The Road, from a novel by Cormac McCarthy, our priest of high-toned despair. McCarthy will never get over the end of the Age of Good Men (which never existed, but don’t tell him that). He has staked his career on the idea that we’re entering a time of humanity in extremis, one in which chaos is ascendant and cannibalism, literal and metaphorical, is the rule, not the exception. The road of The Road is paved with literal cannibals. But it’s also a metaphor for the blind imperative of a father, “The Man” (Viggo Mortensen), to keep his son, “The Boy” (Kodi Smit-McPhee), both eating and uneaten.
What brought about the blinding flash that ends civilization? McCarthy isn’t telling, and neither are director John Hillcoat and screenwriter Joe Penhall. Project on this disaster what you will. (See the list above.) The dying world through which father and son trudge is monochromatic—faded browns, grays from sooty to milky, an occasional splash of dark blood. Green is history. Bare trees tumble. Fires spring up. Human bones dot the landscape. There was once a mother, “The Woman” (Charlize Theron), whom we see in The Man’s dreams, but her maternal instincts fell (strangely) by the wayside. Only The Man persists. “The child is my warrant,” he narrates. “If he is not the word of God, then God never spoke.” It might have been Darwin who spoke—but let’s not go there.
On its own grueling terms, The Road works. It brings you down, down, down, and its characters’ famishment is contagious: Your heart leaps at the sight of a can of peaches. Mortensen, bearded, smudged, greasy-haired, has a primal, haggard beauty. He lectures his son on the need for “the fire inside,” and that’s what we see in his unblinking eyes as his body wastes away. He clutches a gun with two bullets and teaches The Boy to put the barrel in one’s mouth and pull the trigger—the thinking being that a quick death is better than slow starvation or being eaten. But that’s a last resort. Mostly he uses that gun to threaten and/or blow away anything that imperils his son. What’s odd is that although The Boy never knew the brotherhood-of-man era, he pleads—in a voice that hasn’t broken—to share their food and trembles with grief when his single-minded father remains unswayed by his humanism. Yet the father doesn’t mock his son: Part of him must want to keep The Boy a boy. “Are we the good guys?” his son asks again and again, as if chanting in prayer. “Yes,” says The Man.
The movie has a dogged integrity. An inept thief (Michael Kenneth Williams, the magnetic Omar from The Wire) seems too pathetic for The Man to punish but is cruelly punished anyway. When Robert Duvall totters on as “The Old Man” (a guest-star survivor, akin to the guest-star hillbillies in Cold Mountain), we think they might adopt him as a surrogate Gramps. But The Man sees him only as a drain on their food, and The Old Man gets the drift without being told. What a tough, smart actor Duvall is. The Old Man seems enfeebled, perhaps senile—until Duvall gives you glimmers of his caginess. Affecting frailty is a survival mechanism, too.
Evocative as it is, The Road comes up short, not because it’s bleak but because it’s monotonous, and because McCarthy’s vision is finally as inflexible as his patriarchal hero’s. (Having Mom lurch off is quite an evolutionary statement.) That said, the author-hero of 2012 (John Cusack), who wrote a book in which humans cling to their goodness on the brink of extinction, seems boobishly naïve. The truth is likely somewhere in the middle. But unlike these overeager doomsday fanatics, I hope never to find out.
Filed under: family, photography | Tags: alvor, cocunuts, Gleneagles, holidaqys, vacation
We’re on holiday this week. But not here. This is where we were in the summer in Portugal; Alvor to be precise.
Filed under: humour, jokes | Tags: jackon death, jackson, michael jackson, sky news
Cheers for this Alan…

Filed under: Arts, humour, jokes, photography | Tags: dicks, gareth Howells

Filed under: Scotland, advertising, business | Tags: Don Smith, gareth Howells, The Drum Power 100
I am nominated for the Drum Power 100 and if you’d like to vote for me feel free. (But I think the link is fecked actually.) And anyway no clients are on the list so who cares.
But this is where the real battle lies. Two creative Goliaths are out to slay one another.
Gareth Howells (Newhaven) versus Don Smith (Realise – ex Union. He has retired from advertising).
Because they are creatives they can raise the bar.
I love this. Fucking love it.

Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: best of 2000-2009 music, the noughties
‘mon guys. We need a plan to share our best moments.
A ten track CD. One song from each year.
Piece. Of. Piss.
NOT.
Filed under: Arts, music | Tags: 20-09, best, best music, best music of 2009, best of, best of 2009, best of the noughties, music

I’m getting ready to prepare this year’s opus and after a slow start to the year I think it’s gathered pace. For those of you who don’t have any of my previous compilations the idea is that I choose my favourite songs and burn them onto a CD. If you want the CD just ask. In fact ask by commenting on this post.
Just don’t tell the MCPS (Even though this encourages the wider listeningto, and purchase of, music)
In fact. YIPPEE, I can do a best of the Noughties this year too!
Filed under: Arts, Scotland, food, humour, jokes, life | Tags: Aleksandra Mir, collective, collective gallery, cookery, cooking, Edinburgh, Recipes, The how not to cookbook
At last.
I wrote a story that was accepted for this book that arived in the ‘post’ today.

So, if you want to know how not to cook, give me a ring… I’ll pass you on to Jeana.
(Actually, the book is a lot of fun and you can buy it here…)
Here’s what the Collective Gallery, that supported the idea had to say about the concept…
While the typical cookbook format gives you a recipe for obvious success it does not take into account the many ways in which its execution can fail due to the cook’s lack of experience. Based on Aleksandra’s personal history of cooking disasters, the project invites 1000 people from all around the world to give their advice of how NOT to cook. With this volume, any reader will be more than well equipped to avoid making the same mistakes in their kitchen.
Aleksandra is interested in how we are taught or teach ourselves through trial and error. By making our guilty failures public we may even be creating an original and subversive form of art, rather than simply be aspiring to obvious and repetitive results.
Filed under: Rants, tv | Tags: BBC, john humphries, mastermind, Question Time

He is a poor imitation of Magnuss Magnusson and now he is a parlous imitation of David Dimbleby.
Please BBC, spare us this torment.
Filed under: Uncategorized
finneston sunset a la Florence
Originally uploaded by mark gorman.
Great Sunset from the office at STV today
Filed under: Arts, humour, tv | Tags: 6 feet under, anna paquin, david ball, deep south, HBO, horror, Sookie Stackhouse, true blood, vampires

Watching this?
It’s cool.
HBO is really pushing the limits of taste.
Again. (See Eastbound and down.)
On two occasions in the last two episodes – the first watching Jason Stackhouse, the main protagonist’s brother masturbating so hard that the blisters on his palms are bigger than the hands they grew on AND his poor member is engorged to the point of elephantiasis, requiring a blood withdrawal of epic proportions; and the second when the aforementioned star Sookie Stackhouse indulges in a spot of self indulgence as she dreams of her desired vampire lover “taking her” – my youngest daughter had to politely remove herself from the room.
But, the fact remains, it’s a great piece of TV, wonderfully shot (the outside scenes of houses at night have an otherworldliness about them that is unique) and the script crackles and fizzes throughout.
It’s purty sexy too y’all.
I’m going to be performing this on December the 19th at the Forth Adults Theatre Show (if I can pluck up the courage). It’s my song of the year and actually really suits the barely passable singing voice I have (Second Tenor/Baritone).
Sorry about the recording. It does the song little justice.
Filed under: Arts, life, photography | Tags: canon Eos 450D battery grip.
Somewhat anoracky, I know…

Filed under: business | Tags: apple, mac, apple mac, magic mouse, apple magic mouse, mouse

This little baby is really quite hot.
If you have a Mac. You want it. You need it.
Get it.



























