Filed under: advertising, business, creativity, humour, jokes, language, Rants | Tags: Blog writing, planet Blog, professional blog writing service, professional blogging, SEO
Here’s a little something I created this morning for my professional blog writing company www.planetblog.co.
Filed under: business, Uncategorized | Tags: CN Tower, free climbing, glass floor, safety harness, Tower climbers, transmission tower
Recently I was in Toronto and took the super fast lift to the observation floor of the C N Tower. There’s a glass floor that enables you to look directly below you to ground level. Here’s a photo of it that I took in all it’s glory. The glass floor is at the base of that spaceship like protrusion near the top (at 1,000 feet above the ground).
I could not walk on the glass. The feeling it gave me actually turned my stomach. It was as if you were walking out to your death, so after 5 or 10 attempts I eventually officially “bottled it”.
Imagine then the feeling of climbing one of these babies. It’s a transmission tower that’s 1768 feet high and much of the climb is done without the aid of a safety harness.
Watching this made me feel ill and it’s only a video.
It is outstanding, so enjoy it, but look out your sick bag and stay with it to the end.
Filed under: advertising, Arts, business, creativity | Tags: @CreativeEdin, brew-Lab, creative circles, Creative Edinburgh, Creative Industries in Edinburgh, Ed brooke, Edinburgh Creativity, Fi Milligan Rennie, Jannica Honey, mark gorman, mark gorman think hard, the leith agency, think hard
I bet you’d enjoy this. But you can’t, because you were too slow off the mark.
It’s the latest Creative Edinburgh event tonight on The Leith Agency’s Mary De Guise Barge.
As our membership grows (it’s well over 500 now) our events are getting more and more popular. That’s why this one’s sold out.
Keep an eye on the Creative Edinburgh website for our future evens (we’ve planned hosting and curating of over 50 already this year)
Filed under: advertising, Arts, business, creativity, life | Tags: cannes, Chipotle TV ad, entertainment, expedia, Expedia lesbian TV ad, gaming, http www youtube, The Guardian 3 little Pigs, video
I’m looking at a lot of interesting advertising at the moment because I’m teaching a module at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland’s BA Digital Film and TV degree course.It’s required me to look for examples of old classics and new.
I’ve been struck by what’s winning the gongs these days.
Nothing, but nothing is short.
And a lot of it frankly isn’t really that good.
The most awarded ad in the world last year was this one for Canal +.
It’s OK. And it’s only 60″ (that’s short)
This is good mind. The Guardian’s 3 Little Pigs (120″)
This is great. It’s for Chipotle (and their sustainable/organic farming approach to sourcing – if you believe it) and takes a Coldplay song and covers it by Willie Nelson. It’s 2 minutes 20″ long.
Metro Trains from Melbourne have made this 3 minute monster. And it’s garnered 38million YouTube hits so far.
But this is the one. This is the absolute king of the pack. It’s for Expedia and it brought a tear to my sorry old eyes. It too is a beast weighing in at 3 minutes 20″
What though, happened to 30″ spots?
Filed under: advertising, business, creativity | Tags: contact, Edwyn starr, tesco, tesco christmas TV ad
Watch it again and again and again…
Filed under: business, conservative, creativity, liberal, life, politics, Rants, Uncategorized | Tags: Barack Obama, democrats, ethnic vote, mitt romney, politics, republicans, The 2012 US presidential election
When Barack Obama rode into power in November 2008 on a wave of optimism, change, belief, creativity and downright sexiness the world gasped. American politics had not been so riveting since the 1960′s and certainly not as glamorous. This online ad encapsulated it all for me.
And then reality kicked. The mother of all recessions and hostile antipathy towards what’s now known as Obamacare.
One of Mitt Romney’s central strategies was, in creating 12million new jobs (really?), he would revoke Obamacare and return America to the most obviously polarised class structure in the Western world.
Obama meanwhile was criticised for continuing the Afghan war and for appearing remote; too much a thinker, not enough a baby-hugger.
He was doomed.
Five things saved him I believe. Catching, and killing, Bin Laden (in a brave and high risk operation), Hurricane Sandy, Clinton’s speech, his wife and a brilliantly single-minded and principled political agenda that reached out Liberally to the WHOLE of America.
While Romney seduced the white vote with constant appeals to their pockets “it’s the economy stupid.” Obama consistently ploughed his furrow of social justice.
The Democrats are painted as Socialists (albeit dressed in Blue) but they strike me, under Obama, as the world’s great Liberals, balancing vote winning (in the underpriveleged) social issues with strong foreign affairs and a balanced view on the economy; it’s not the economy at ALL costs.
This chart said it all when I saw it last week. It demonstrated what a danger Romney would be given the keys to the White House (we all saw his ineptitude abroad earlier this year in the UK)
The statistics are overwhelming and, guess what, the only country favouring Romney was Pakistan; default home of Al Quaeda. World, we got a close call here but escaped unharmed.
Obama’s return to power was anything but certain. He had to rely on a strong ethnic vote (and his ethnicity unquestionably helped there – were a white candidate standing against Romney the result would probably have been very different. Should Hilary Clinton choose to stand in 2016 her support amongst female voters may have a similiar effect). He had to scrap on the streets of the swing states for his life. He only performed moderately in the TV debates. He was saved in the end by his sticking to principles but his negative campaigning was far removed from the elegance of the Obey campaign.
This TV ad from last month though was a masterclass in Liberal balanced communication and I hope it made its mark. There were so many that one will never know and it seems it was the doorstep canvassing that really made the difference. Obama’s strategy in micro-marketing being better and more energetic.
A note on the TV coverage. I watched it here, in the UK, flipping between the BBC, Sky, CNBC and CNN. By a country mile the most interesting, insightful and challenging coverage came from CNN.
The BBC was plodding and boring.
So, America has made a brave, some might say, and reasoned, others might say, judgement call. At the end of an administration that has see the economy hit by its very own Hurricane Sandy and against a presentable and domestically credible conservative voice offering the promise of a return to “The American Dream” Obama has held on, scraped back into power and given the opportunity to carry on his work, Not only that but The Senate surprisingly remained in the hands of the Democrats.
One major blot on the horizon; the Republicans still hold power in the house and so the opportunity to quash social change policies remains real and present.
One word sums it up again though.
I’m Mark Gorman and I approved this message.
Filed under: advertising, business, creativity, humour | Tags: Bodyform, facebook
After years of skydiving and rollerblading Bodyform are forced to admit what “the Curse” is really like.
It’s a response to a facebook post that soon went viral.
Here’s what it said…
“Hi , as a man I must ask why you have lied to us for all these years . As a child I watched your advertisements with interest as to how at this wonderful time of the month that the female gets to enjoy so many things ,I felt a little jealous. I mean bike riding , rollercoasters, dancing, parachuting, why couldn’t I get to enjoy this time of joy and ‘blue water’ and wings !! Dam my penis!! Then I got a girlfriend, was so happy and couldn’t wait for this joyous adventurous time of the month to happen …..you lied !! There was no joy , no extreme sports , no blue water spilling over wings and no rocking soundtrack oh no no no. Instead I had to fight against every male urge I had to resist screaming wooaaahhhhh bodddyyyyyyfooorrrmmm bodyformed for youuuuuuu as my lady changed from the loving , gentle, normal skin coloured lady to the little girl from the exorcist with added venom and extra 360 degree head spin. Thanks for setting me up for a fall bodyform , you crafty bugger”
I suspect this response will go more viral.
Filed under: Arts, business, creativity, movies | Tags: Alien, Michael Fassbender, Noomi Rapace, prometheus, ridley scott
“In space nobody can hear you scream” proclaimed the poster for Alien.
Even before you stepped into the cinema back in 1979 you knew, you’d read, you’d heard that you were going to be wincing with fear and disgust. When John Hurt’s chest was ripped open by a baby monster you did scream. It was, and still is, a monumental movie.
Fast forward 33 years and the “cinema event of the year” arrives with reel after reel of preview film but little in the way of proper reviews. No talk about what the content was. I feared it was a studio ploy. Keeping the film away from the critics because it wasn’t that good. And then, right at the last minute the reviews appeared. “Hmmm” that was the general consensus. So I went to my local multiplex in a state of anxiety. Could it possibly live up to the hype?
Right let’s get one thing out of the way right from the off. 3D does not make movies better, arguably the opposite, as directors strive to create set ups that allow them to show off the technique. The only 3D movie I’ve seen that even remotely benefits from the exercise is Avatar. Prometheus just doesn’t need it.
By now you’ll know the basic premise of the movie. Say what they like, but it IS a prequal to Alien and the obsession Ridley Scott has with the creation of man, religion, Darwinism and all such borders on the insane. It makes for some laboured moments and overblown plotting. The movie overall is too long (a common mistake these days) and lacks both pace, at times, and screams.
This simply does not scare you like Alien did, but apart from those criticisms it is a fine theatical experience. It looks astounding, it has good central performances from Noomi Rapace and Michael Fassbender and adequate back up from the rest (although Kate Dickie is hopelessly miscast).
It’s a good film. Just not a patch on Alien. There’s an obvious sequal standing in the wings but I guess we’ll have to see how this fares at the box office before taking the plunge because this ain’t a cheap exercise ($120m – which incidentally is only half what Avengers Assembled cost)
Filed under: books, business, creativity, humour, jokes, life, Rants, stories, swearing, work, writing | Tags: apostrophes, death of the apostrophe, lynne truss, proper syntax, waterstones
Some fucking dick in the Waterstone’s marketing department thinks the apostrophe is an inconvenience in the digital age.
Yeah sure it is in a url, but we all know that urls don’t need punctuation and everyone, even Lynne Truss, will live with that.
However, to use that as an excuse to rebrand Waterstone’s as Waterstones is absurd.
It’s a fucking bookshop.
It should be the last bastion of proper syntax for fuck sake.
It is utterly unforgiveable.
It’s like the Driving Standards Agency hiring blind people to take driving tests.
Before you know it we’ll have section’s for biographys, comic’s, childrens book’s, and busine’ss section’s.
Or is that bastards’ or bastards or bastard’s or bas’tards or bas’tard’s or bas’tard’s’
I give up. In apoplexy.
Filed under: advertising, business, creativity, for sale, humour, jokes, life, photography, swearing | Tags: fail, Japanes department store sale fail
It’s Point of sale from a Japanese Department store.
Filed under: advertising, Arts, books, business, creativity, family, gigs, golf, humour, life, movies, photography, Scotland, stories, theatre, tv, videos, work | Tags: 2011, 2011 in hindsight, best of 2011, gibberish, mark gorman, review iof 2011
2011 was rather less fraught than 2010. I didn’t work to such ridiculous extremes, and the year end saw my portfolio change quite considerably compared to 12 months ago. Three big new clients at year end were Maidsafe, Vets2 and Front Page Design, all autumnal starters and all brilliant to work with. My STV contract finally came to an end after three years but its been great and I am very grateful to them for all the work.
Some old troopers still stand by me; 60 Watt, Paligap, The Usability Lab, Corporation Pop, Ampersand and LA Media, with occassional work from a small number of others.
To you all; slainte and have a great 2012.
If my golf was bad in 2010 it beggared belief in 2011. I gave up my membership at Dundas Park and clearly that did not have a galvanising effect on my game. I was shit awful on both trips of the year and even my winter game has been poor.
We didn’t go away as a family in 2011, for a variety of reasons but I had the holiday (maybe an exaggeration to call it that) of a lifetime in June when Ria and I went to Glastonbury. To say it was memorable would be something of an understatement. There is one abiding memory of it, I have to say…the bogs.
But there were other memorable sights and moments, like this…
Which brings me onto my musical highlights of the year.
My best of CD which you can have if you like included these tracks…
In a good year for music my song of the year, without question, was Video Games by Lana Del Rey.
My albums of the year were;
Bad as Me by Tom Waits (overall my favourite record)
Let England Shake by PJ Harvey
You and I by The Pierces
The English Riviera by Metronomy
A creature I don’t know by Laura Marling
50 Words for Snow by Kate Bush
Hotel Shampoo by Gruff Rhyss
Build a Rocket Boys by Elbow who also performed the gig of the year at Glastonbury (closely followed by King Creosote at The Liquid Rooms)
A different Kind of Love by Bombay Bicycle Club
21 by Adele
I did a lot of cinema in 2011…
Here’s what I thought of what I saw in my IMDB profile…
Two ten out of tens and a few nines show that it was also a good year for movies. In retrospect I plump for three as my best of the year
A Separation and
On TV This is England 2008 moved me to tears and was by far the year’s greatest offering. I liked Top Boy too.
I didn’t read a great deal this year but have really enjoyed
The Brothers Sisters by Patrick DeWitt.
The Childrens Hospital by Chris Adrtian.
And Filthy English, The How, Why When and What of Everyday Swearing by Pete Silverton.
But the best read of the year by far was…The Guardian which I grow deeper in love with.
This was a big year of theatre for me. I reckon I saw at least 20 different productions but easily the stand out was Dance Marathon in which Jeana and I and Chris and Liam danced our asses off for five hours before I was told I was relentless by the Producer. We also had amazing nights at The Kings for James Cordon in One Man, Two Guvnors and The Lyceum for both Dunsinane and Age of Arousal.
This year was sadly marked by way too much illness among our friends for me to want to dwell on but Matt, David and Jenny I am thinking of you now.
Also, we lost James King, Joyce Cambell and Fiona Pirie from FCT and Rachel Appolinari at the outrageous age of 19. RIP all of you. xxx
All of the family have blossomed in the past year, thank God, and long may it continue. In particular Amy has shown an almost exponential growth in confidence and skills in many different areas.
2012 is University year for Tom and Ria should they both choose to go down that path.
And so, to 2012. It’s the year I turn 50, Amy 21, Tom and Ria 18 and I aim, with Pete the Meat, to lose at least 50 pounds each before we turn 50 in May. We are raising money to do so and you’ll soon hear of our plans.
Thanks for being my reader once again in 2011. My year end Technorati rating was an all time high closing in on a top 1% of all the blogs in the world rating.
16,000th out of 1.2 million.
Filed under: advertising, business, creativity | Tags: Christmas parties, Christmas party season, freelancers, freelancers in Scotland, office party, self employed, Self Employed Xmas, sex, sex party
I have a lot of clients and this year seems to have been the year of the party. I did two on the same day, a week past Friday, following one the day before that. I did one each last Thursday and Friday and I have two more. One today and one tomorrow night.
Today is the big one. The SEX party.
Everyone has a great time at it, getting very relaxed, slipping into more comfortable gear, unwinding with much pre-prandial chat before diving deep into platefuls of turkey et al in the Shore Restaurant.
Yes, the SEX (Self Employed Xmas) party has it all.
Wish me luck.
Filed under: advertising, business, creativity, humour, motors, photography, Scotland, stories | Tags: edinburgh zoo, edinburgh zoo van, hino van, newhaven communications, r, Rufus Wedderburn
Years ago I was responsible for taking a brief from my then client, Edinburgh Zoo.
They wanted their logo put on the side of their new van.
“That’s surely a bit of a missed opportunity is it not?” I asked.
“Why?” was the response “It’s just a van.”
“No it’s not” was my firm retort. “It’s a poster. And what’s more the media cost of it is free.”
I asked them to leave it with me and not long after I presented them with the idea (created by Rufus Wedderburn, now at Newhaven Communications) of creating a visual gag which made it look as if a Rhino was being transported across Edinburgh and that its horn had burst through the van’s roof.
They bought it. And here she is in all her glory.
It won every ad award going and the citizens (and visitors) of Edinburgh delighted in seeing it every time it passed through the street.
Like the new strapline too…
Filed under: advertising, Scotland, business, creativity, bbc | Tags: BBC radio Scotland, David Ogilvy, Graeme atha, mark gorman, The original mad man, victor Brierley
Next Monday myself and Graeme Atha will be in conversation with Victor Brierley in a special one off documentary investigating the legend that was David Ogilvy.
Here’s a link to the 30 minute programme that goes out on Monday afternoon at 2.05.
Filed under: business, creativity | Tags: animal charity, charity, cheetah charity, cheetah outreach, cheetah saving, conservation, conserving cheetahs, save the cheetah, save wild cats, saving wild animals, south african charity, wild animal charity, wild animal survival, wwf
My sister, Emily, has been putting in awesome shifts – for, like, months – over the past seven years in South Africa (many as a volunteer) in support of a phenomenal wildlife charity called Cheetah Outreach.
Their raison d’etre is neatly summed up in the following paragraph…
It took 4 million years of evolution for the cheetah to become the exceptional animal it is today and only 100 years for man to place it on the endangered list. Now the fastest land animal in the world is losing its most important race: the race for survival. At the turn of the 20th century, an estimated 100,000 cheetahs lived throughout Africa and in parts of the Middle East and Central Asia. Today there are just 7,500 cheetahs left and South Africa is home to fewer than 1,000 of these majestic cats. Cheetah Outreach is an education and community-based programme created to raise awareness of the plight of the cheetah and to campaign for its survival.
This year Emily was joined for over a month of her stint by her partner, James, in South Africa as she once again set off to hand-rear a bunch of Cheetah cubs.
The impact on James was huge, and not surprising, given his tireless fundraising and lobbying on behalf of his own non-profit organisation; The Lion Foundation. (The Lion Foundation is a non-profit organisation providing an umbrella for an ad-hoc group of friends to do diverse fund-raising activities. Since 1994 they have rattled buckets, bungee-jumped, paraglided (or paraglid?), run raffles and Open Days for, volunteered with and published donated works in aid of seventeen charities including ATD Fourth World; Pestalozzi Children’s Village, Kent; The Monkey Sanctuary, Cornwall; NARA; Children with Leukemia; Aid to Romania; Willow Foundation; ACTV; The Tibet Foundation; Durrell, Jersey.)
To say that James is enthusiastic would be something of an understatement and having returned to these shores he has set to with vim, vigour and a roar to raise funds for Cheetah Outreach. Consequently he’s organising a fundraiser – principally in his Devonshire hometown of Bantham but thanks to the www everywhere really.
That’s where I, and you, come in.
As Northern ambassador for James’ uber-enthusiastic activity I am now on the campaign trail, imploring you, my beloved reader, to show some support for his efforts.
And so, if you feel the plight of the Cheetah is worthy of a little support join us in raising money to keep this fantastic beast and wonderful charity in rude health.
All you have to do is pledge a little dosh via the following (no doubt by now familiar) mechanism.
Log on to www.justgiving.com/cheetahoutreach-whf and stick in a few bob.
Go on. Go on. Go on.
Filed under: business | Tags: apple, Apple disaster, death of apple, steve jobs, Steve jobs dead, steve jobs death apple death], steve jobs rip, Steve wosniak, Steve Wozniak apple, We love Steve jobs
Steve Jobs died today.
I am gutted. I’m actually in tears.
I love, really love, that man, even if he was hard to work for.
I never worked for him; merely admired him above, pretty much, anyone else on earth.
Three things to remember him by…
This from apple
This from Apple.
And this; one of the greatest ads ever and what he was all about…
This ad makes me cry and you know what Apple need to make a tribute ad to him about him.
Filed under: business, creativity, humour | Tags: facebook, new facebook page, tech buzz
Filed under: business, creativity, humour | Tags: microsoft, microsoft windows, Windows, Windows logo
Filed under: Arts, business, creativity, life | Tags: apple mac, apple resignation, IT, microsoft v apple, steve jobs, steve jobs resignation, technology, the apple philosophy
Of course I do not know the man or know anyone who knows the man.
This man has changed the world in good ways.
I FEEL like I know him.
When I started my company I had to decide between good and evil. I chose good, We ended up with a 50+ Mac network.
When I started working from home I had to choose between good and evil. I chose good.
I write now on good.
I try to write my blog from time to time on the enemy’s machines.
It ends in tears.
The letter below is very sad but noble.
I suspect it means he will not be with us for long.
Steve Jobs; I salute you.
You are a complete and utter fucking legend. Bill Gates envies you.
This is his resignation letter today.
I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple’s CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come.
I hereby resign as CEO of Apple. I would like to serve, if the Board sees fit, as Chairman of the Board, director and Apple employee.
As far as my successor goes, I strongly recommend that we execute our succession plan and name Tim Cook as CEO of Apple.
I believe Apple’s brightest and most innovative days are ahead of it. And I look forward to watching and contributing to its success in a new role.
I have made some of the best friends of my life at Apple, and I thank you all for the many years of being able to work alongside you.
Filed under: advertising, Arts, business, creativity, humour, life, Scotland, theatre | Tags: advertising, edinburgh festival fringe, street ad, The fringe
Filed under: advertising, Arts, business, creativity, theatre, Youtube | Tags: australia, sydney, sydney opera house
A beautiful piece of commercial branding for Sydney Opera House that captures range and emotion in equal measure. A Nick Cave song (the Ship Song) in case you were wondering.
I’m recording an interview about David Ogilvy and his impact on the world of advertising tomorrow for BBC Radio Scotland with Victor Brierley and Graham Atha. So I’ve read Ogilvy on Advertising and looked at some of his heritage, such as this “lecture.”
Whilst he is a great copywriter, no doubt and established a very effective global agency neither of the aforementioned facts get in the way of him being a hugely opinionated, arrogant and particularly irritating man.
“I don’t do rules” he says.
Never have I read a book so full of rules as Ogilvy on Advertising.
That said. He incisively and instinctually notes many, many truisms that hold true 35 years after he wrote what some consider a seminal work.
Me, I can take him or leave him.
Anyone that says creativity is the most dangerous word in the lexicon of advertising is fundamentally wrong.
Sorry. That’s just wrong.
Filed under: business, family, Rants | Tags: complaining, complaints, complaints letter, customer service, good service, Hayes Garden World
We bought an “unbreakable table” from Hayes Garden World a couple of years ago.
During the cold snap this winter…it broke.
So I wrote to them…
Filed under: advertising, business, conservative, creativity | Tags: GRP, GRP Glasgow, Guy Robertson, Guy Robertson Partnership
My good friend Guy Robertson saw his business go bust after 25 years in the saddle last week.
This happens a lot but usually the vanquished face a barrage of abuse and leaves with bad feelings all round for suppliers and staff.
Typically the business owner is full of vitriol and blame.
This is how he said his final hurrah and I think it deserves a wider audience so that people can see the dignity, decency and wit with which Guy made his final bow (for now)
Good luck in the future mate. You deserve it….
Warm felicitations from the West End of Glesga,
A sense of self-respect, vanishing pride or perhaps plain bloody ego moved me to drop a note to a few of the many friends I have made in the Scottish Ad Industry and some of the more recent acquaintances I’ve made throughout the UK via the IPA.
Sadly it’s to report the demise of GRP, the advertising and design business I started back in 1986 (remember those hedonistic and heady email-free days of full commission, meaty mark-ups and boozy lunches?)and which my Partners and I ran pretty successfully for more than 23 out of the next 25 years. The past year or so has been a very stressful time, both emotionally and financially, so in some ways it’s a relief now I’ve brought it to a head by making the decision to wind down the Partnership. I guess the cracks started at the beginning of the global recession in December 2008 when we lost the Toyota Dealer Advertising business, an account that contributed more than 60% of our income at that point. We made the mistake, easily identified in hindsight if not at the time, of not cutting costs deeply or quickly enough and allowed our hearts to rule our heads when it came to reducing staff numbers.
As everyone knows the general business climate continued to decline and despite GRP’s successful transition to Digital, which included winning accounts such as Highland Spring, we couldn’t achieve the profit levels needed to exceed our overheads, tied as we are to the building we bought back in 2005 and which is now too big and too expensive. With the Bank seeking to down-value the building to the point at which our £450k equity had all but disappeared we took the decision to enter a Trust Deed before we reached the point at which a third party may have sought to sequestrate us. As a Partnership my 2 Partners and I have unlimited liability (probably our other significant error!) so it has been important to manage the wind-up in a professional, honest and transparent manner and to minimise the effect on staff, suppliers and clients.
This process is happening as I write and I remain hopeful that the majority of the debt can be repaid without recourse to what’s left of my personal assets!! The building will have to be sold and given the commercial property market right now I’m not betting on a surplus after RBS get their claws into it!
Meantime I have formed a new company in the name of Guy Robertson Advertising Ltd and happily I’m starting with the support of many of my clients at GRP.
So thanks for reading my rambles and apologies if it comes across as somewhat self-indulgent, I guess that’s because it is!
Filed under: advertising, Arts, business, creativity, humour, jokes | Tags: creepy, Dirt devil, scary movie, the exorcist, Troubleshooting
This is just perfection.
But at its core it’s an astoundingly good product demonstration.