Wouldn’t it be nice if Cardiff City took the FA Cup out of England on Saturday?

Nothing against Portsmouth because if they win it takes it out of the big 4.

Me though?

I’m with my Celtic cousins.

I can hardly believe that Tommy Burns has passed away. Tommy was not an old man (only 52) and was First team coach and head of the Celtic Youth Academy until he was taken ill. Tommy was certainly worthy of the title “Celtic legend” and was a thoroughly decent man. Who can forget him going a whole season undefeated (or maybe he lost only one game?) and yet not winning the title as Celtic manager during the reign of King Walter

It was well known that he had been suffering from cancer but I was unaware of how serious the situation was. What a terribly sad piece of news and it renders reports on last night’s Rangers match versus Zenit St Petersburg redundant.

After all the fuss about referee Mike McCurry’s performance in the Rangers v Dundee Utd match last Saturday the SFA is in no position to defend his behaviour as this photo of the linesman demonstrates.

This is brilliant.  Click on the interview panel on the BBC sports page at this link.

Craig Levien, Dundee Utd’s manager, letting off steam after losing a crucial game to Rangers today. Now, when I say letting off steam I mean totally losing it. I like and respect Craig Levien - even if he is a Jambo - and I know exactly how he must feel

And oh what joy to find this old school photo of him on google…

And this one…

Yes, that’s right. It is yours truly on the left. A vision in black. And not overly gaylordish.

Now, we all know that referees favour Celtic and Rangers, but according to Levien, Mike McCurry’s performance today was nothing short of a scandal. He calls him a cheat - which will get him in big trouble with the numpties that run our game - but he is almost certainly right. I haven’t seen the incidents in question, but judging from this outburst I think he probably has a point.

Listening to discussion about it on Five Live’s 606-phone in a Rangers fan brushed it off by saying…

“They’re getting all excited about this one game. Maybe if they’d tried this hard all season against lesser teams this would be less of an issue.”

A neat body swerve I have to say, but, you know what? Totally true!

And that applies to every other team in this shitty league.

And Hibs are no exception.

They turn up for the old firm and Hearts matches and don’t bother their arses against the likes of Aberdeen, Motherwell, St Mirren…

That’s why I don’t go along any more.

Breaking news.

Based on Rudyard Kipling’s iconic poem the new Irn Bru commercial has landed. Set in various locations across Scotland and somewhere abroad it features some lovely vignettes. Some work brilliantly, like the Loony Dooking pensioners (at 33 seconds) which struck a real chord with me, also the kissing Celtic and Rangers fans, the despondent Scotland fan with his wee lassie and the way folk choose the wrong descriptor for their meal times are all great.

Others are  less succesful and I’d question Martin Compston’s voiceover.

But three cheers for the choice of South Queensferry for two of the settings!

I feel the whole campaign suffers from being shackled by a weak strapline. Phenomenal does nothing for me. It’s unphenomenal frankly.

Overall it’s a nice, rather touching return to form.

But judge for yourselves.

]

I have supported Rangers’ dogged and boring progress through Europe but I am not, repeat not, a closet Hun. And they couldn’t have achieved it without ripping the guts out of The Hibees first 11.

This is funny. Thanks Mike.

One thing I am 100% behind them on is condemnation of the stance that the SFA have done nothing to further the cause of the Scottish game.

Exactly.

SFA.

Is Walter Smith the greatest football manager Scottish football has ever enjoyed?

I think so.

I was in Glasgow tonight to witness, in a pub, the effect this remarkable man has had on a patently average football team. Not only has he achieved greatness for Rangers Football Club but he has done so with six Scottish players on the pitch. Sadly, two of them Hibbies.

Clearly Rangers were not actually better than Fiorentina (or Werder Bemen, or Sporting Lisbon) but they beat them all- this is not typically Scottish behaviour.

But a Scottish team, is in a European Final.

This is genuinely something to celebrate.

C’mon the huns!

My mate Mike is a rubbish golfer. He can’t hit a driver to save himself but he’s solid with a 7 iron. Plop, plop , plop goes each shot, down the middle, sinks the putt and it’s a par.

It’s real safety officer stuff but it grinds out results.

So, to Rangers.

Their European campaign, although succesful is like playing golf with a 7 iron. Nothing ventured, nothing ventured.

It makes you weep how dull and unimaginative it is. It’s horrific. But hey, the ends might just justify the means.

Whatever.

The Cabbage could get into Europe.

Hearts could win the Diddy League. (Although, if memory serves me correctly Mr Romanov predicted that they should be, about now, in the Semi Finals of the Champion’s League defending last year’s title)

Carlisle United look like getting promoted two years’ running.

Queen of the South, yes, Queen of the South are in tomorrow’s Scottish Cup Final.  If they win they’ll be dancing in the streets of Queen of the South (in fact by all accounts they already are.

Cardiff City are in the English FA Cup Final and they’re not even English.

Rangers are in the EUFA Cup Semi Final.

I blame it on global warming.

Unquestionably Walter Smith has fashioned a team more boring than a Dremel. But it works and hey, it’s good for Scotland’s Euro co-efficient. They played well in Portugal but something says it could be a touch more inspiring.

Barry Ferguson’s booking for kicking the ball away was, well, daft.

But, of course, the major contribution was from a Hibby, Steven Whittaker’s goal was nearly as good as Theo Walcott’s set up on Tuesday night.

Nevertheless, I cheered them on with gusto and I hope they can outdo Celtic’s Sevillian failure.

Are you worried about the future?

Let’s face it, we’re not getting any younger and we all have to think about our lavish lifestyles after our careers are over.

• Are you well past your best?
• Are you looking for an easy life?
• Are you looking for an easy way to enter Britain?

Then you are eligible for the Hearts Life-Plan!

WE PAY YOU over £10,000 a week, there’s a pointless medical and no salesperson will call (you might even get a shot at being manager).

CALL NOW!

There’s a FREE house, car and limitless golf at some of Scotland’s finest courses.

Don’t take our word for it, read these recommendations from some very satisfied clients….

“When I’m no longer playing, I know my family will be financially secure”

Mr Beslija, Belgium

“I recommended the Hearts plan to all my friends back home.”
Mr Saulious, Edinburgh

“The Hearts plan supplemented my pension, just when I thought it was too late.”
Mr Pressley, Glasgow

“The generosity of the Hearts plan is unmatched in the world of pension finance. It was the best move I have ever made.”
Mr E Kurkis, Lithuania

“Even when everyone said I was too old, Hearts were prepared to supplement my pension with an outrageous offer.”
Mr Neil, Edinburgh

“Despite being permanently injured I was still eligible for the Hearts Life-plan - year after year!”
Mr Pinilla, Chile

So don’t sit there worrying about the future - relax - that phone will ring!

Hearts Life-Plan is regulated by V Romanov and his pals at the bank and is funded by the 10,000 who have invested in the “HMFC Season Ticket” pyramid scam over the last 3 years.

Now that was a game of football. The best I’ve seen in a long time

Theo Walcott’s run for Arsenal’s eqauliser at 2 - 2 was reminiscent of this.

Which I really liked.

They can win this league. Indeed they might even be favourites now that the pressure of winning the Champions League has been removed.

I never even played for my school team but I have played football on and off most of my life, and followed it too.

The Scotland friendly against Croatia rose my cynicism levels way out of control though.

Rangers play Celtic on Saturday and five Old Firm players pull out through injury but will be OK for the weekend?

Aye.

Right.

Scotty Brown turned up though.  And got booked.  Says a lot about his commitment.

.

I was in the pub watching the Rangers v Panathanaikos match amnd got talking to an English bloke.  He told me his home team was Southampton and now that he was living in  Edinburgh he followed Hearts.

“Ah! so you’re a Saints and Sinners fan then.”  I quipped.

He laughed.

James McLaughlin!

You are a very naughty boy for sending me this awful link and I warn you, dear reader, that this is a nasty, obnoxious and bigoted piece of communication that nobody, but nobody should watch. So don’t. Especially if you, like me, are a Catholic.

Unless, of course,  you want a laugh.

Aunty Margot -  you’ll hate it, so don’t bother; you’ll hate it too Mum oh, and Father Tony, best watch Corrie.

I hope this doesn’t condemn me to a life in purgatory.

Intrigued?  If you end up offended don’t say I didn’t warn you…

]

Real Madrid track Hibernian’s Steven Fletcher

By Steve Wilson

Real Madrid have been watching the progress of Hibernian striker Steven Fletcher with a view to making a £4 million bid for the 20-year-old at the end of the season.

(From Today’s Telegraph).

Stick that in your pipe Mr Romanov…

“I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one.”

So said Brian Clough; reflecting on his up and down career.

I have written elsewhere about the Clough phenomenon, in my review of the quite remarkable David Peace novel, Damned Utd but this is something different and just as touching.

The man is truly unique and I bought Provided you don’t kiss me, the 2007 William Hill Book of The Year, on the basis that I thought it would be full of ascerbic and hilarious insights into his career as seen by an insider.

It’s written by the previously unknown (in book terms at least) Duncan Hamilton, but surely we can’t have seen the last of him. Hamilton was a rookie sportswriter/reporter on the Nottingham Evening Post and so got first dibs on Cloughie for over 20 years. The relationship he built with Clough is at the heart of this book.

It is a thing of great beauty.

It’s no kiss and tell, despite the title, rather it is a heart felt, honest, even loving reminiscence of how a provincial reporter built an intimate, trusting relationship with the greatest football manager in history; and let’s not overlook this fact. He was.

Let’s get this in perspective. Nottingham Forest winning a League title and two European cups in the late seventies was the equivelant of someone like Stoke, or Colchester doing it now. Provincial, modest crowds (never above 25,000 even at their peak) and peniless.

And yet. And yet.

And yet Clough (and let’s not forget Taylor - Hamilton sure doesn’t) built Nottingham Forest into the greatest team in Europe.

They pissed on the mighty Liverpool.

But the book is not a football borefest. It ain’t for anoraks, it’s for people who love people. Clough was like a surrogate father to Hamilton. It was a love affair of sorts. A truly symbiotic relationship.

As the book moves through the glory years and into Clough’s decline it is sad beyond belief. At several points I was close to tears as Hamilton recounts Cloughie’s decline into alcoholism, his loss of dignity and confidence and his eventual, rather sad, retirement and most heartfelt of all; his death.

This book is a window into the human soul. A historical insight that no-one else could have written.

It IS funny in parts; because Cloughie was a star comedian (indeed he was a mate of Eric Morecambe’s).

But poignancy is its greates virtue.

Wonderful.

I’m going to Tynecastle tomorrow, full of trepidation. Hearts are playing like the total asswipes that they know, deep inside , they are.

And yet.  And yet.  Why is it that I set off with a sense of foreboding?

Hibs got off to a Mixu flyer but you know what? I hate Tynie. It’s a graveyard of our dreams. Last time I was there we got a right good skelping.

On the other hand there was this.

]

The real underlying problem with Hibbyness just now though is the delicate balance between fiscal probity (Mr Petrie) and success on the field. Collins showed his hand in The Hootsman today but I think he had his own agenda too.

Murphy’s off. Another £2m in the coffers and what does Mixu immediately say? None of it, NONE, is going to buy new players. That’s a tough gig for the big man.

However, he has signed Rankin from ICT. I’m inclined to say, so what, but I’ll hold my council.

Getting Ian Murray back, on the other hand, could be inspired.

I will never, ever forget the shift he put in a s a lad against AEK Athens. He nearly DIED of cramp but played all 120 minutes. Astonishing. Nearly one of Easter Rod’s immortal moments if Paco had buried that header in normal time for a hatrick.

Ok, he did the Judas bit going across to Hunsville, but I blame the agents, and he’s no doubt learned a lesson from that.

‘Mon the cabbage.

So, having just regaled you with both hope and pessimism, and having shared Mixu’s glorious hatrick against the Jambos…

Oh you missed it?

Here it is again then.

]

He only goes and gets Deano to score his first ever hatrick against the hapless Caley Thistle.

Geritupya.

Nice start Mixu. Let’s hope it’s not just beginner’s luck.