Filed under: cycling, life, Scotland, sports, stories | Tags: bike riding, Bikes, cycling, Cycling Scotland, Kinross Sportive, Tour de france
Yesterday I took part in the Kinross Sportiv Black run. 88 miles (my clock read 91) and 6561 feet of climbing (1.5 x the height of Ben Nevis).
See those red boxes? They’re the hills and they are very cleverly spaced out so as to just about allow you to recover from one before you hit the next.
Of course some are worse than others. Just like waterboarding is worse than the rack or having fingernails extracted.
But you think the ascents are bad? Well, on three of them, having reached the peak you see this.
And those signs are there for a reason.
I had ho’d and hummed a lot the night before about whether to put the new brake blocks I’d just bought onto my (not very) trusty Willier and eventually decided, after removing them and scraping them, that they’d suffice.
Well, they did. Just. But that was after recording my top speed, so far, on a bike (38mph) on a not dangerous descent.
Going down those bad ones was a test of nerve – and one that I abjectly failed because my arms ached at the bottom of each of them with the sheer effort of clamping those 2cm blocks of rubber to the rims of my wheels. At times I simply had no idea if the brakes would last out. Feathering them was rarely an option as the descents were so brutal, the second you let go the bike would just leap forward at horrendous speed. Clamping was the key. So, the next time you watch a descent on the Tour de France consider the risks these guys are taking.
Towards the end of my six and a bit hours in the saddle (we had three stops for punctures and two for food on top of that) I was in a state of complete exhaustion.
Maybe it was the half pint of Guinness that we had in Dunning that did me in. As the barmaid said “Oh, you’re the first cyclists we’ve had in three years that had a drink!” But it certainly helped us up the 900ft climb, that is Dunning Common, that we faced the second we got back on the bike.
As I sit at my computer at 9.30 the next day I feel fine. Had I done an equivalent feat by running I’d have been in agony for at least three days.
So, vive le cycling.
Filed under: cycling, Scotland, sports | Tags: 801 dalmeny, Cleish Hill, Dunning Hill, Scottish Cycling, Scottish hill climbs by bike
Today we set off as usual at 8.01 from Dalmeny Station, 11 of us. And headed for Auchterarder.
At Yetts o’ Muckart the group split and six of us carried on to Auchteradrer where we had coffee and bacon rolls (some had Carrot cake) at Indulge. The Maitre of the house elicited positive observation from all parties. Indeed, it may require further visitation.
Then the hard work began.
37 miles under our belt and coffeed up we set off for Dunning to begin the dreaded ascent of the 3 mile long Dunning Hill (probably about 1,000 feet ascent). At one point I was down to 5.3mph in my lowest gear. Really, really tough.
But Roddy McRae, total whippet, was in front of me and got off his bike to photograph us as we neared the summit.
This is the result.
That was at 45 miles.
15 miles later we hit Cleish Hill. Another, slightly shorter killer climb.
At 2.15 we finally got home. 77 miles later. Shattered but happy
Filed under: life, sports, stories | Tags: Garrett McNamara, surfing Nazare, surfing portugal, Surfing world record
…this looks impressive.
Garrett McNamara in Nazare, Portugal breaks world record for surfing a 100ft wave. Yikes.
Filed under: Arts, creativity, football, humour, life, Scotland, sports, stories, Uncategorized | Tags: arthur seat, celtic fc, Chips'n'cheese, easter Road stadium, Edinburgh, Edinburgh View, Edinburgh's Greatest Football Team, Hibees, Hibernian FC, Ian McAteer, Leith, Sunshine on Leith, The Bhouys, the hoops, the union
Advertising supremo, Iain McAteer, of The Union was climbing Arthur Seat on a chill but not Arctic New Year’s day.
The hike was an attempt to wash the bitter taste of the defeat (and too much red wine) of his beloved Chips’n'cheese-eating, potato picking, football team to the (ex) purveyors of the beautiful game, the mighty Hibernian FC from his mouth.
He turned to take in the glorious view and was rewarded with this stunning vision.
Filed under: cycling, life, Rants, sports, stories | Tags: DR Pedro Celaya, Lance Armstrong, lance armstrong foundation, livestrong, US postal, USADA
Nimes 2003. Mid July. 35 degrees in the shade.
As I stood in the baking sun for more than five hours at the finishing line of a mid-race stage of the Tour de France waiting to catch a glimpse of my all time hero, Lance Armstrong, I’m blown away when an attractive young lady approaches me selling , for one Euro, the single most desirable, and certainly the coolest, thing I’ve ever seen.
A yellow rubber wristband bearing the Nike branded name of Lance’s new charitable venture – Livestrong.
I buy 10. And I wear a succession of these bands for a number of years.
I’ve already devoured “It’s not about the bike” (sublime) and ‘Every second counts” (something of a shabby follow up) but who cares, the proceeds are going to the Lance Armstrong Foundation (trustees of LIvestrong).
I buy Livestrong T Shirts. I am Lance Armstrong’s greatest evangelist.
Then news comes of the USADA’s alleged”victimisation” of Armstrong. They suspect wrongdoing and they go after him like a dog after a bone. What’s the point I wonder. After all I’ve read the books in which, page after page, he denies wrongdoing; “Why would I take drugs and risk ruining my body having just survived life threatening cancer. I would be the biggest fool on the planet.” I paraphrase, but that’s the sentiment and it runs through the books like a stick of rock.
Why would anyone lie, and lie again and again, this publicly, so convincingly? It’s not possible that it’s a lie.
Yesterday, the USADA issued a 1,000 page report using sworn testimony from 26 people including 15 members of Armstrong’s team at the time of his superhuman successes, US postal.
In it they say; “Together these different categories of eyewitness, documentary, first-hand, scientific, direct and circumstantial evidence reveal conclusive and undeniable proof that brings to the light of day for the first time this systemic, sustained and highly professionalized team-run doping conspiracy.”
Team Doctor, Pedro Celaya, was the mastermind of the hideous cheat but he contests the claims as does Armstrong, but the evidence is no longer refutable.
One question. Why?
Why would a team, comprising of dozens of people no doubt, conspire to cheat so willfully and cover their tracks so assiduously for so many years? what is actually the point of that? In the words of the Horlicks advertising team “How do they sleep at night?”
So, I am the fool. A naive dreamer that like a child simply believed what St Lance said. saint by night, sinner by day that is. You can’t take away what Armstrong did for many suffering people,, you can’t ignore the benefits of the LAF and Livestrong. But now it’s a legacy shrouded in guilt, bad taste and conscience salving.
Oh Lance. You make me so sad now.
Filed under: cycling, humour, Scotland, sports, stories, Uncategorized | Tags: 801 Dalment cycle club, Cleish Hill, Scottish Cycling
It would seem I have failed to understand, pretty much fundamentally, the fashion code for serious cyclists as this excerpt from the very amusing 801 Dalmeny blog suggests
“Newbie Mark G compounded multiple violations of the rules (mountain bike, trainers, camelbak, raybans, mudguards, panniers, pants showing through lycra shorts…) with a milky coffee choice and boiled eggs with soldiers.”
Filed under: sports, Scotland, stories, cycling | Tags: glasgow to edinburgh bike ride, freshnlo, freshnlo pedal for scotland ride, Cycling Scotland, Torphicen, Livingston, Linlithgoww, Beecraigs Park, thigh muscles, track roads, scotland glasgow, 9th september
On Saturday I cycled this route (initially in the rain as dawn broke – well 7am) with a couple of pals. It took me to a lovely little, one pub, village called Torphichen in the hills between Livingston and Linlithgow and through the Beecraigs Park.
Quite hilly, it proved almost too much for one of our group and it was a leisurely 4 and a half hours before we set foot back on Queensferry soil. But the route was fantastic, much of it on car free single track roads so I thought, what the hell, I’ll go out again this afternoon and see what time I can do it in. Two hours on the dot and with 63 miles in my legs idea preparation for the freshnlo Pedal for Scotland Glasgow to Edinburgh bike race on 9th September. You can register here.
By the end of the second run though my thigh muscles were starting to groan and a long bath was called for.
Monday was a work from home day with meetings in Edinburgh both in the morning and in the evening. Consequently I put another 52 miles on the clock. So a good few days all in all.
Filed under: creativity, cycling, Scotland, sports, stories | Tags: arthurs seat], cycling, Edinburgh, glasgow to edinburgh cycle race, old bike, pedal for scotland, south queensferry, vacation
I had an afternoon off and I had some stuff to pick up in Edinburgh so, between rain showers (well, when I say SHOWERS…), I jumped on the old bike to do a training run for the Pedal For Scotland ride that’s now only 8 weeks away. You can register here… http://ow.ly/c1Ssg
So, I cycled into Edinburgh (11 miles ) and then did two circuits of Arthur’s Seat (my second volcanic circumnavigation in a week given that I’d done Vesuvius last week).
The trip round Arthur’s Seat is 3.3 miles and I clocked 14 minutes or so both times. My memories of the ascent (just under a mile) to Dunsapie Loch were far more onerous than the reality.
After that a cycle back to South Queensferry and all 32 miles done and dusted in about 2hrs 15 minutes.
Cream crackered now like.
Filed under: cycling, life, sports, stories | Tags: andy murray, fct, glasgow to edinburgh bike ride, pedal for scotland, south queensferry, travel
So, as I may have mentioned already I’ve been asked to blog on behalf of http://ow.ly/c1Ssg the Pedal For Scotland bike ride which runs from Edinburgh to Glasgow on the morning of September 9th.
To be honest six months ago the very thought of it would have filled me with dread but being four and a bit stone lighter, partly thanks to my beautiful bike I am actually relishing the challenge. Nevertheless, I need to build the mileage up and get the “miles in my legs” if I’m going to make a decent fist of it.
It’s 47 miles which should be achievable in just over three hours at my rate of riding (I average 16 miles an hour typically).
So, yesterday amidst the rain and before the Andy Murray defeat I got on my bike and thrashed out 17 miles in about an hour. For a change I wore my heart rate monitor to see how I coped. From a start where my heart rate was about 60 I quickly settled into a rate in the mid 130′s (good solid exercise) but at the end I had to tackle the dreaded Hawes Brae in South Queensferry. A real beast of a hill about half a mile long and really steep. It climbed and climbed as I forced my way to the top, peaking at 168. For those of you who know for a 50 year old that ‘s 220 – 50 (170) only 2bpm short of it.
My objective is to get 100 miles a week into my legs but that’s a big ask. Also I’ve got two holidays planned so that isn’t going to help either plus FCT has a show on in the Festival called Once on This Island which will also preoccupy me for the best part of a fortnight.
But anyway. Here goes.
Filed under: Arts, creativity, golf, life, photography, sports, videos | Tags: JP Auclair, LCD soundsystem, Ski video
OK, so I don’t DO ski.
But one can’t help but admire excellence in other fields.
Check out this video then by JP Auclair. It won a bunch of prizes at ski film awards for his LCD Soundsystem video.
The bit I love most is the sparks flying as the skis hit gravel.
Reminds me of driving on the golf course at dusk when the titanium sole plate of the driver catches grit on the Tee.
Filed under: Scotland, sports | Tags: gales, golf, scottish golf weather, weather, wind
80 mile an hour wind gusts with the prevailing windspeed around 30mph.
The group that went out in front of us at Lundin Links on Fife’s southern coast lasted one and a half holes, lost one of their trolleys which blew onto the beach and one of the players had already also lost three balls.
We had a bacon roll, a cup of tea and headed home.
Common sense prevailing over the prevailing winds.
Filed under: creativity, humour, jokes, life, politics, sports, Uncategorized | Tags: Good for the Jews, It's good to be a Jew at Christmas
I heard this on Huey, from the Fun Lovin’ Criminals’, 6 Music Show this afternoon.
Filed under: Scotland, sports | Tags: dan parks, rugby, rugby worl cup, scotland v argentina, sctittish rugby union
The match against Argentina this morning was rugby at its most attritional and exciting despite the fact Scotland lost and there was only one try. However Scotland’s curse raises its head once again and we look likely to fail to reach the quarter finals. It makes next Saturday’s match against England truly unmissable. Horrific missed drop goal by Dan Parks right at the death and I suspect a lack of concentration after we’d eked out that six point lead only to concede a converted try less than a minute later.
Filed under: family, humour, life, Scotland, sports, stories | Tags: Duke of Edinburgh Gold Award
Tom and Ria are all set for their 45 mile walk from Aviemore to Blair Atholl.
Tom in particular with his white pumps and new hat.
“So as I can talk to farmers.”
Amy’s attempt ended in a wrecked knee half way through so fingers crossed the white pumps cope with the rigours of the Scottish Highlands.
(Apparently the minibus got lost on its way to the start point so not a great omen.)
Filed under: football, life, photography, Scotland, sports, stories | Tags: homeless world cup, scotland win homeless world cup, scotland win in paris, the Scottish dream
Yesterday Scotland won the Homeless World Cup in Paris.
64 nations competed.
We beat Mexico 4 – 3 in the final and it was said that our team may not have been the most skilled in the tournament, but we were the most committed.
It’s not like we lead the world in Homelessness.
We beat a nation many multiple times our population.
I suspect it had something to do with money not being a factor or a motivation.
I suspect it brought out our national pride.
I suspect it was a level playing field regardless of national stature or population.
This is an awesome concept and a creation of Scotland (Mel Young conceived it).
The fact that the story made a pictureless 3 x 3 story at the bottom of page 3 in our national paper is a scandal.
Scotland. Wise up.
Filed under: Arts, creativity, motors, sports, stories | Tags: Bernie Ecclestone, damon hill, F1, F1 Movies, Formula 1, imola, jackie stewart, Jean Marie Balestre, lotus, mansell, Prost, Senna, williams
One would have thought that the best movie ever made about F1 (this one) would be full, wall to wall, of filmic pyrotechnics shot in the same way that FIFA commission world cup movies with super saturated, super slo-mo, super hi-def film set to a super hi-fi sound track.
But it isn’t.
And there are two potential reasons for this. The first; artistic in that director, Asif Kapadia and Editor Chris King want it to eschew the flotsam of F1 and capture the essence of the man on a more personal level; the second for storytelling reasons.
I think it’s a bit of both because what makes this documentary so successful is it sets out to essentially tell us a right ripping yarn that’s not distracted by special effects.
I’m not an F1 buff. I’m about average in terms of my on-off interest in the sport. At the moment Bernie Ecclestone has successfully moved my button firmly to the off position.
So I don’t write this through rose tinted spectacles. I comment only as a film lover.
This documentary is set in a golden era where the baddy was not Ecclestone (he barely appears) but the then F1 director. Jean Marie-Balestre, who’s almost xenophobic and certainly nepotistic support of fellow Frenchman Alain Prost is a key plot device.
Much of the film follows the central battle for supremacy between “the Professor” Prost and Senna and it’s fascinating.
Not once, but twice, were world championships decided on extremely dogy collisions between the two men.
This is discussed in an interview between Jackie Stewart and Senna in which Stewart (possibly the most arrogant Scotsman ever to have set foot on planet earth) challenges the fact that Senna has had more accidents than all of the previous World Champions put together. Perhaps deliberately Senna responds modestly and calls him Stewart (in what looks like a put down that would have stuck in old big heads craw).
But the reason for the question is fundamental to the nature of Senna himself. His sense of invincibility comes from his deep set belief in God, and this core motif is an important insight into the man and his motivation.
God should probably have been credited as a supporting actor role in the film.
What’s interesting is that virtually nothing of his private life is discussed in the movie. Not even his brief relationship with, and engagement to, a 15 year old girl. Because this is a film single-mindedly about man, machine and God.
The third reel which deals largely with his death and his legacy is heart rending. The footage leading up to the ill fated moment at Imola in 1994 when God deserts him is so nerve-shredding that you cannot bear to see what is coming. But when you do it is so brief and so brutal that it’s gone before you know it. There are no reruns, no slo-mo, no gratuity.
He just dies. And we move on. (Fighting back tears).
Ironically to the sight of Prost as pall bearer as a nation grieves and then, in the credits, we see that Prost is a Trustee of the Senna Foundation.
Ironic or poetic? It’s hard to say.
No big budget pomp and circumstance, no overblown hero worshiping, just a right good story, well told and gripping from first frame to last.
So, fork out your hard earned cash and visit one of the limited number of cinemas where you can catch this wonderful film in what will almost certainly be a very brief run.
Oh, and not once do you hear either Damon Hill or Nigel Mansell utter a single word.
Another good reason to go.
Filed under: golf, Scotland, sports, stories | Tags: andalucian open, Bay Hill Invitational, European tour, Malaga, Martin Laird, orlando Florida, Paul Lawrie, pga, tiger woods, US golf tour, USPGA
Orlando California Yesterday
All that stood between Martin Laird and victory at Bay Hill were two putts from just inside 90 feet on the 18th hole, which didn’t seem all that long considering what he already had been through Sunday.
First came a stunning collapse that took him from a three-shot lead to a three-shot deficit in a span of seven holes. He was three shots behind when he walked off the 14th green, two shots ahead as he headed to the 17th tee.
Laird knocked the first putt up to 3 feet, then jabbed his fist when he rolled in the par putt to win the Arnold Palmer Invitational.
Malaga, Spain , Yesterday
The 42-year-old former British Open champion [Paul Lawrie] took the Andalucian Open by one over Sweden’s Johan Edfors.
With six runner-up finishes since his last victory, Lawrie must have feared it was going to be another near miss when, from one ahead overnight, he bogeyed the first two holes Sunday and England’s Mark Foster birdied them.
But, in a repeat of what happened at last year’s Spanish Open, Foster could not hold onto a three-shot lead.
Lawrie, despite dropping another stroke at the fifth, turned things round by starting the back nine with four birdies in five holes. And the Aberdeen golfer, whose world ranking has dropped from 29th in 2000 to 272nd, could even afford a closing bogey to win with a level-par 70 and 12-under total of 268.
“It’s been a long time — 2002 seems a hell of a time ago,” he said. “I’ve had a few second places in there, but all of a sudden we’re there again.
Hats off to the boys.
It must be the first time ever that Scots have triumphed in the European and US tours on the same day.
It should be noted that The Bay Hill is no Micky Mouse Tournament (even though it’s played in Orlando). Tiger Woods has won it six times!
Filed under: football, jokes, politics, Rants, Scotland, sports | Tags: Scottish Football Association, SFA
“Lennon is currently serving a four game suspension imposed earlier in the season and will sit out the second of those games against Inverness Caledonian Thistle on Wednesday night. It was widely believed that the fresh punishment would take effect when the current ban was completed but Celtic’s statement confirms that they do not believe that to be the case.
Taking into account the SFA’s rules and the date the most recent ban was imposed, Celtic are claiming that both suspensions will be served simultaneously from this point on, meaning their manager will be in the stands for four more matches including the Inverness game and not a further six as would be the case if suspensions were served consecutively.”
I am not jumping on the anti-Lennon bandwagon, I simply can’t be bothered and I do have sympathy for the way he is treated in his private life. No, this is all about the SFA and their continuous bottling it. If Lennon has erred his sentences should not be commuted, like the last one was or run simultaneously. No wonder Celtic are not appealing. If they did even a commuted sentence would begin after the current one.
It’s a farce.
Filed under: Hibees, Scotland, sports | Tags: andy murray, andy murray's hibs green shirt, australian open, hibees. Hibs, Hibs green shirt, novak djokovic, Scotland, scottish sport, scottish tennis, the cabbage
I have refrained from blogging about Andy’s exploits for fear of jinxing him. All I can say is good luck. Scotland would be a very proud nation were he to succeed in the morning.
Filed under: Arts, creativity, life, movies, sports, stories | Tags: mickey rourke, the ram, the Wrestler
I missed this first time round but watched it on DVD last night. Funnily enough, I watched Crazy Heart the night before and the two films felt very much of the same sentiment.
Sean Penn won the Oscar for Best Actor for his portrayal of Harvey Milk in Milk which was a great performance but I think the Academy must have debated long and hard who give it to. I think they made the wrong choice because although both Penn and Mickey Rourke actors carry their respective movies Penn’s portrayal was more of an impersonation; Rourke’s is a possession.
The story follows the fictional comeback years of a once great Wrestler (The Ram) who still has a loyal following and top billing, but in provincial events where the new generation are creating ever more bizarre wrestling characters with weirder and weirder means of entertaining their audiences. A life time of substance abuse has rendered The Ram susceptible to too much exertion and it is when he faces the “Necro Butcher” and his unorthodox method of staple gunning (with permission of course) his opponents that it all gets too much for Rourke and he suffers a heart attack that needs a bypass to save his life.
The operation brings him briefly to his senses and so we enter act 2 in which he tries to rekindle love in his life for his 21 year old daughter (nicely played by Evan Rachel Wood) and his “tart with a heart” lap dancing on-off flame.
Marisa Tomie, who plays the part, is awesome and certainly deserved her Oscar nomination; sadly she too failed to convert. But it’s all too much for both The Ram and his Beaus. The lure of the ring finally gets him back with a hair raising finale in which he takes on his old enemy “The Ayatollah” in a stage managed fiasco that simply breaks the heart.
This is a stunning character piece played by an actor who has made more comebacks than the character he lays. But Rourke is godlike. It is intensely reminiscent of De Nero’s performance in Raging Bull not just because of the subject matter but for the commitment that both men put into their job. At 56 this was surely an even greater feat by Rourke than the then still young De Nero. But the film is more than a testosterone laden gross out. It’s a heartfelt and beautiful study of failure in life, in love and in everything except integrity.
Great photo from today’s Guardian online.
Filed under: football, Rants, Scotland, sports, stories | Tags: craig levein, euro 2012 qualifiers, fletcher, levein, naismith, Scotland, scotland qaulifiers, scotland v spain, Scottish Football, SFA
The headlines will proclaim Braveheart!
The truth is, in my view anyway, Scotland huffed and puffed tonight.
Spain were not in top gear. Need they be? They were playing a team who had just lost to a team who had just lost a European Qualifier at home to Lithuania.
They gradually worked out a way to get through against the great blue wall.
And then; oops.
A wee Spanish banana.
Could the worst happen?
Could they really lose to a team who had just lost to a team who had just lost a European Qualifier at home to Lithuania.
Don’t be daft.
3 – 2.
Cue Lionheart. Cue whatever. It’s always like this.
Some good performances (Naismith, Fletcher, Bardsley) and a corker of a baddie. Whittaker will want to erase tonight from his memory forever. Run ragged, 100′s of mistakes, gave away the penalty just before halt time, got sent off. Doh!)
This was not a new dawn for Scottish football. It was just another close defeat to a huge team that nearly took their eye off the ball. But it was at least exciting.
Filed under: Hibees, humour, photography, Scotland, sports, stories, The Scotsman | Tags: europa cup, FC maribor, greg Macvean, Hibees, Hibernian FC, john hughes, the cabbage
Hibs result in Slovenia last night defies comment. Instead I will concentrate on the plus side.
This utter masterpiece of a sports photo of our inept moron of a manager, John Hughes captured like, well, an inept moron of a manager by Edinburgh photographer Greg Macvean.
Thank you Greg. Hope this wins the prizes it deserves.
Filed under: football, sports, world cup 2010 | Tags: germany, holland, kaka, ozel, ronaldo, rooney, schneider, schweinsteiger, south africa, world cup 2010
Stand up the new world superstars of football. Who’d have thought, at the start of this tournament, that it would be Ozel, Schweinsteiger and Schneider that we’d be hailing as the greats. And good on Klose too; edging in on that record. I really hope he gets it. (And let’s not forget Diego Forlan of course!)
Germany have been awesome and deserve to win the tournament although I backed Holland at the start, so obviously I want them to do it, but on merit so far it’s Germany by a distance.
Filed under: humour, jokes, life, sports, world cup 2010 | Tags: 1954, England v USA, USA v England, World cup
Well, I finally put my money on the Dutch to win the World Cup, with or without Robben. But I couldn’t resist the five to one on offer for the USA to put Ingerland into mourning. So come on the Yanks.
I’ve creamed a drive, smacked a sweet 3 wood to 70 yards and stand with a pitching wedge on the 2nd fairway at Dundas. “Nice shot” my opponent shouts as I nip a sweet little wedge greenwards. Two bounces and it drop off the pin into the hole. After 35 years of waiting I finally shoot my first ever eagle. I was pleased. Ross my opponent high fives me and I go two up.
Two holes later, despite playing to five under my handicap I’m only one up. and at the turn it’s all square. Then I lose 10, 11, 12 and 13. Four down with five to play. But I dig deep and win 14and 15. Disaster awaits on the 16th tee though and a hooked drive leads to a five. It’s all over. All I have to remember this round by is that elusive eagle. But it’s a sweet one.
When I saw Tom at home I asked him. “How’d you play son?’
“Crap, but I eagled the first.”
Whatever. He’s had about 10.
Filed under: life, sports, work | Tags: motivation, motivational quotes, triumph, try, try and triumph
The only difference between try and triumph is the umph.
Filed under: family, golf, humour, jokes, life, Scotland, sports, stories | Tags: Club championship, crap golfers, golf clubs, Jon and Chris Rough
Tonight I, the worst player at Dundas parks Golf Club, stood aside my opponent on the first tee, for my first round match in the club championships.
A lack of confidence did not pervade my opponent’s frame.
Me? I have come last, stone last, in medals at Dundas Parks more often than any player in the club’s history.
I am officially. A joke.
Not only that.
I am temperamental.
I lose heart easily.
And I am disappointing in many, many ways.
But my chums support me (especially the Rough Bros). Good guys who just think it’s funny and know that I throw up the odd surprise.
My opponent, with a higher handicap than mine (I know, it’s hard to believe) probably knew how rubbish I am.
But in a Dodgeball way I pulled it together. But so did he. He played to his handicap. So I had to play under mine to undermine him. Two under as it happens.
I am legend.
As Tom would say “I am Ninja.” He was genuinely chuffed and that meant a lot.
Filed under: advertising, golf, sports | Tags: earl woods ad, Earl woods Nike ad, Tiger, tiger and earl woods ad, tiger woods, tiger woods ad, tiger woods Nike ad
But I have never seen claptrap like this before.
It’s so confusing that I can’t decide if it’s offensive, extraordinarily egotistical, on-brand, off-brand, motivating, purely confessional.
It is beyond bad.
Yup. It sucks.
Filed under: football, Hibees, Scotland, sports, stories | Tags: Hibees, Hibernian, Hibs, hibs beat Killie 19 -0, hibs women