gibberish

This bad?  I found this on Steven Tait’s increasingly excellent blog and laughed out loud almost throughout it.

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Breaking news.

Based on Rudyard Kipling’s iconic poem the new Irn Bru commercial has landed. Set in various locations across Scotland and somewhere abroad it features some lovely vignettes. Some work brilliantly, like the Loony Dooking pensioners (at 33 seconds) which struck a real chord with me, also the kissing Celtic and Rangers fans, the despondent Scotland fan with his wee lassie and the way folk choose the wrong descriptor for their meal times are all great.

Others are  less succesful and I’d question Martin Compston’s voiceover.

But three cheers for the choice of South Queensferry for two of the settings!

I feel the whole campaign suffers from being shackled by a weak strapline. Phenomenal does nothing for me. It’s unphenomenal frankly.

Overall it’s a nice, rather touching return to form.

But judge for yourselves.

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A remake of The Shining. Really scary.

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Jamesy sent me this. Sweet.

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Whoa.  Stop right there.  What the fuck is this?  I’ll tell you what it is - it’s a beast.  The most finely concieved, played and produced African album I have ever heard.

It is an absolutely stunning mashup of tribal rythm from Mali an extended family of Saharan nomads who are quite unlike anything you’ve ever seen or heard in your life.

Count yoursef blessed that you have stumbled upon this post because the track I have for you, the first from their third album, is an absolute stonewall classic.  This stuff takes your breath away and played back to back with The Very Best of Ethiopiques it shows the quality of music coming out of Northern Africa is nothing short of sublime

Please do yourself a favour.  Buy this record.  And Pick up The Very Best of Ethiopiques while you’re at it.

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The new Portishead album has been ten years in the making. I read a review that said it was “nice background listening”. It may have been written by a monkey stabbing randomly at keys until this particular sentence appeared because nothing could be further from the truth; as this track demonstrates.

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This, the fourth on the album, is the best song they have ever written. It is a thing of intense beauty.

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Throughout the record Beth Gibbons’ vocals are used sparingly above an electronic symphony. Cool, funky, orchestral but all synth driven with utterly astounding drumming. This is so good that I thought I was going to cry just listening to it on the train home from Glasgow on Thursday night.

Album of the year so far.

No question.

I told you this was a great event.  Particularly because Alfredo Marcantonio showed us a reel of commercials that were all low budget but brilliant.  Here are a few of them.

I’d never seen this VW Karmann Ghia ad before but it really is a classic.

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He showed this too.  Which made us all laugh.

And this cracker for Carling Black label.

He showed a different ad from this one for the x show.  But this is a pretty good alternative…

Whoa.  Here’s a wee cracker for ya!

Heard this on the Craig Charles Funk Show tonight.

Jazz funk from Finland.

Get on down man…

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Next time you’ve got a bit of dental pain and want some treatment you can learn something valuable from this guy’s technique.  Good denoument too!

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Cheers to Pete the Meat for pointing me in this direction.

I love Blue Monday.

I love Laurel and Hardy.

So imagine how good it would be if you could combine the two.

Well, imagine no longer.

Gavin and Stacey.  That’s what’s ocurrin’.

We watched the last episode of  series two through tears of mirth and melancholy in almost equal part last night, only seconds after watching the show win two BAFTAs.

Like James Corden I was puzzled by the fact that it was nominated for most things that had a suggestion of funnines about the category, but not best sitcom, but, hey, that’s the BAFTAs for you.

After all, Coronation Street didn’t get a nomination for best Soap.  That’s a joke is it not.

Anyway back to the Gavster. This is a magnificent TV series and it all stems from the writing - in this case of James Corden and Ruth Jones. I don’t think the series has reached the critical mass it should have ,  But it will.  Oh yes it will. British comedy at its very, very best.

One further observation on the awards…C4 stuck it right up them.  Good on ya C4.  We luv ya!

I loved The Only Ones and their best song has survived the test of time.

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However I was shocked to see them on a recent Jools last night.  Peter Perret looked like he’d been dug up from a tomb.  Ouch.

Edwyn’s recuperation continues at a remarkable level and I read in the paper today that he is to play Glastonbury.  Coincidentally, can you believe how chuffed I was that a post what I wrote in December last year was stumbled upon by his amazing wife Grace and even merited her comments via my bro-in law Alan McBlane?

If you’re interested here’s the link.

And, to celebrate, here is undoubtedly, to my mind anyway, his finest moment.

This is one of my all time favourite songs.

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My mate, Tim Maguire, shot these very tasty commercials in the Seychelles for The Union advertising Agency.

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And he poses a very intriguing question.

How on earth do you make 12 commercials on 35mm film for £16,000

You’ll have to get in touch with him direct to find out.

An anti-painkiller ad by masochists.

Very good fun indeed.

Thanks to Will for pointing it out to me.

I watched a Morecombe and Wise best of on TV last night and they showed this drama.  To call it a sketch would be to totally devalue it.

It is probably their finest hour.  and, yes, here it is.

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A one-liner that had escaped my attention for some reason - until now - beat it though.

As a police car speeds past their homoerotic bedroom, sirens blazing,  Eric leaps out of bed adorned in silk pyjamas and dressing gown and declares

“He’s not going to sell much ice cream going at that speed, is he?”

They do not come funnier.

Jeana discovers a new band and the Altzheimers doesn’t kick in.

She remembers their name!

They are Fleet Foxes and they were (apparently) the darlings of SXSW this year. They remind me a little of Midlake which is probobaly why they are on the fantabulous Bella Union Records label.

Enjoy…

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It also explains why they do Fleetwood Mac covers.

Will Atkinson brought her to my attention. I don’t know much about her but I do know that this Etta James cover is rather good.

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This doesn’t quite come off. I think Candie is a bit overwhelmed by it all. (Well, she didn’t spend 5 years being groomed for this sort of thing at Brats School after all.)

It does show her potential to be as big as I think she should be. It’s a far cry from when I saw her at Cabaret Voltaire last August, that’s for sure.

This doesn’t quite come off either but, by all accounts, it kicks Lilly Allan’s ass.  Here she’s duetting with Ricky of the Kaiser Chiefs on Oh My God.

This, on the other hand, is class. An acoustic version of arguably her best song about being stuck with a crap boyfriend.

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I’m often accused of favouring female singer songwriters in my year end CD’s, as if this was something to be criticised. And I found it amusing when my son’s mate declared emphatically that “Females can’t sing.” This weeks album charts seem to suggest that I am not alone in favouring the female voice as, in the top twenty you’ll find Duffy (no 1 for two weeks so far) Amy Wino, Amy MacDonald, Kylie, Rihanna, Leonna Lewis, Goldfrapp, Adele and Alicia keys.

I’ve reviewed both Amy McDonald and Adele elsewhere and both are outstanding records. The Wino can carry a tune too I have to admit and the more I listen to Back to Black the more I like it.

But Duffy. That’s an interesting one. (Actually, I lied - there’s bugger all interesting about it.)

I bought it last week, kind of excited by the big PR machine behind it from Rough Trade Records - never have they hyped an artist so much in their history. Her set on Jools was fairly good too and both Mercy and Rockferry were decent songs (although naggingly missing a certain something - if Candi Payne had sung either of them I suspect both would have been better).

The album though. That’s a different kettle of fish.

It’s poor. Really poor. Totally overhyped, dreary, unimaginative monotonous and unoriginal. It’s simply regurgitated sub- Dusty 60’s fodder. How Brett Butler (Suede) could put his name, with such enthusiasm to it is anybody’s guess. It’s totally manufactured pap.

Avoid at all costs.

On a brighter note though. Another new female singer songwriter is emerging. A cross between Marina-Topley-Bird (her from Tricky) and Amy Wino this particular song is very out there on Radio 2 and really is very good. I think you’ll be hearing a lot more about Gabriella Chilmi.

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