Filed under: books, business, creativity, humour, jokes, life, Rants, stories, swearing, work, writing | Tags: apostrophes, death of the apostrophe, lynne truss, proper syntax, waterstones
Some fucking dick in the Waterstone’s marketing department thinks the apostrophe is an inconvenience in the digital age.
Yeah sure it is in a url, but we all know that urls don’t need punctuation and everyone, even Lynne Truss, will live with that.
However, to use that as an excuse to rebrand Waterstone’s as Waterstones is absurd.
It’s a fucking bookshop.
It should be the last bastion of proper syntax for fuck sake.
It is utterly unforgiveable.
It’s like the Driving Standards Agency hiring blind people to take driving tests.
Before you know it we’ll have section’s for biographys, comic’s, childrens book’s, and busine’ss section’s.
Bastards.
Or is that bastards’ or bastards or bastard’s or bas’tards or bas’tard’s or bas’tard’s’
I give up. In apoplexy.
Filed under: advertising, Arts, books, business, creativity, family, gigs, golf, humour, life, movies, photography, Scotland, stories, theatre, tv, videos, work | Tags: 2011, 2011 in hindsight, best of 2011, gibberish, mark gorman, review iof 2011
2011. That was the year that was.
2011 was rather less fraught than 2010. I didn’t work to such ridiculous extremes, and the year end saw my portfolio change quite considerably compared to 12 months ago. Three big new clients at year end were Maidsafe, Vets2 and Front Page Design, all autumnal starters and all brilliant to work with. My STV contract finally came to an end after three years but its been great and I am very grateful to them for all the work.
Some old troopers still stand by me; 60 Watt, Paligap, The Usability Lab, Corporation Pop, Ampersand and LA Media, with occassional work from a small number of others.
To you all; slainte and have a great 2012.
If my golf was bad in 2010 it beggared belief in 2011. I gave up my membership at Dundas Park and clearly that did not have a galvanising effect on my game. I was shit awful on both trips of the year and even my winter game has been poor.
We didn’t go away as a family in 2011, for a variety of reasons but I had the holiday (maybe an exaggeration to call it that) of a lifetime in June when Ria and I went to Glastonbury. To say it was memorable would be something of an understatement. There is one abiding memory of it, I have to say…the bogs.
Not good. And this was on day 1
But there were other memorable sights and moments, like this…
Not good. Day 4.
And this…
All good. Day 4.
Which brings me onto my musical highlights of the year.
My best of CD which you can have if you like included these tracks…
In a good year for music my song of the year, without question, was Video Games by Lana Del Rey.
My albums of the year were;
Bad as Me by Tom Waits (overall my favourite record)
Let England Shake by PJ Harvey
You and I by The Pierces
The English Riviera by Metronomy
A creature I don’t know by Laura Marling
50 Words for Snow by Kate Bush
Hotel Shampoo by Gruff Rhyss
Build a Rocket Boys by Elbow who also performed the gig of the year at Glastonbury (closely followed by King Creosote at The Liquid Rooms)
A different Kind of Love by Bombay Bicycle Club
21 by Adele
I did a lot of cinema in 2011…
Here’s what I thought of what I saw in my IMDB profile…
Two ten out of tens and a few nines show that it was also a good year for movies. In retrospect I plump for three as my best of the year
Senna
A Separation and
Drive.
On TV This is England 2008 moved me to tears and was by far the year’s greatest offering. I liked Top Boy too.
I didn’t read a great deal this year but have really enjoyed
The Brothers Sisters by Patrick DeWitt.
The Childrens Hospital by Chris Adrtian.
And Filthy English, The How, Why When and What of Everyday Swearing by Pete Silverton.
But the best read of the year by far was…The Guardian which I grow deeper in love with.
This was a big year of theatre for me. I reckon I saw at least 20 different productions but easily the stand out was Dance Marathon in which Jeana and I and Chris and Liam danced our asses off for five hours before I was told I was relentless by the Producer. We also had amazing nights at The Kings for James Cordon in One Man, Two Guvnors and The Lyceum for both Dunsinane and Age of Arousal.
This year was sadly marked by way too much illness among our friends for me to want to dwell on but Matt, David and Jenny I am thinking of you now.
Also, we lost James King, Joyce Cambell and Fiona Pirie from FCT and Rachel Appolinari at the outrageous age of 19. RIP all of you. xxx
All of the family have blossomed in the past year, thank God, and long may it continue. In particular Amy has shown an almost exponential growth in confidence and skills in many different areas.
2012 is University year for Tom and Ria should they both choose to go down that path.
And so, to 2012. It’s the year I turn 50, Amy 21, Tom and Ria 18 and I aim, with Pete the Meat, to lose at least 50 pounds each before we turn 50 in May. We are raising money to do so and you’ll soon hear of our plans.
Thanks for being my reader once again in 2011. My year end Technorati rating was an all time high closing in on a top 1% of all the blogs in the world rating.
16,000th out of 1.2 million.
Filed under: advertising, humour, videos, work, Youtube | Tags: careerbuilder.com, job boards, recruitment ads, Recruitment advertising
Filed under: advertising, business, creativity, Scotland, work | Tags: copychecking, proofing, proofing scotland, proofreading, proofreading design, prrofreading scotland
Jim Bertram is a legend. You might not need proofreading or editing skills too often these days but at £20 an hour for the finest eye in the business you may find that on the odd occasion when you want your work to be that bit more perfect you’d be spending a little money very wisely.
Give him a call or check him out here.
Filed under: advertising, business, creativity, humour, photography, work | Tags: 80's ad men, 80's fashion, advertising, mad men, mark gorman, mark gorman think hard, think hard
OK, so David Reid was given a Fashion Police type doing on this very page not a week ago.
He took it like a man I have to say so it’s only fair that he gets the right of replky.
Here’s my own fashion disaster of the 80′s when I had hair, oh boy did I have hair, and specs.
My God did I have specs…
Filed under: advertising, business, creativity, humour, life, photography, Scotland, stories, work | Tags: 1576 advertising, advertising, because brands matter, david eid, fashion police, gok wan, mad men, the leith agency
If the TV series Mad Men positions the ad industry as one of the great bastions of style in the 50′s and 60′s, what on earth happened in the 80′s?
This is what happened in the 80′s.
One of Scotland’s leading creative directors turned up for a Bass Ale shoot in the Crown Bar, Belfast, looking like…
Actually, words fail me.
Certainly some sort of Kajagoogoo reject.
I mean, where to start?
The shorts probably.
The T shirt?
The haircut?
The come to bed expression?
The boots?
And I then went on to form a business with this Gok Wan nightmare.
Ooooffft!
Filed under: advertising, business, humour, jokes, Rants, work | Tags: new media, phd, reaching young people, talking to young people, Web 2, Web 2.0, yoof, youth marketing, youth targetting
Thanks more especially to The Ad Contriarian and will Atkinson for bringing this piece of utter codswollop to my attention.
Listen to what these horrible little brats are saying.
“Don’t worry, you’ll offset the costs by selling the leads onto those data aggregator type companies.” Whaaaatttttt? Just like my 16 year olds talk.
Honestly it’s the funniest script I have EVER heard in my life, but it’s meant to be serious.
Oh man, I feel so, like, out of touch now.
Must get down to see those connected dudes at PHD.
Do you think they are connected with Ogilvy in any way?
Filed under: business, creativity, life, Rants, work | Tags: apple, apple buchanan street, apple glasgow, apple tv, complaints, good old apple, retail complaints, returns policy
I honestly can’t work this one out. But, before I start, I’d give Apple a victory in extra time.
So, here’s the story.
I bought, with excitement, the new Apple TV in October last year.
In fact, I pre-ordered it online. But a week after release it was still on order. No sign of delivery any time soon.
No worries, I was in Glasgow and popped into the Apple store one day,
“Got an Apple TV?” I asked wistfully.
“Actually, yes, 10 arrived about an hour ago, you’re in luck.”
Cautiously I advised that I had an online order, unfulfilled,
“Don’t worry sir you can cancel it.” (I think, in retrospect they could and should have done that on my behalf instore.)
I went home to cancel , only to find it had been despatched, when it arrived I had to take it back to the Apple store, unopened, for a refund.
It was refunded. Without a great deal of grief, although unbeknown to me they took back the shop sale, meaning the receipt I had was for the online product.
So, moving on. I now have a shiny new Apple TV.
But, every time I tried to demonstrate the wonder of this amazing invention to my pals it took, like, at least an hour to load my computer library.
I never actually used it, not once, because it’s, frankly, crap if you have a big music or photo library on your mac.
I have both.
Two days ago I gave up, phoned the Apple store and asked if I could take it back for a refund.
“yes” the manager said, I could. For cash.
So I did.
Today.
Thereafter ensued a bit of a trauma. It took over half an hour for me to establish that the return had been approved by the manager, for cash.
At first the sales assistant disbelievingly went to check with the manager and came back to say I could get a gift voucher to the value of the product.
“No, sorry.” I said.
Cash, my cash, had been spent on the product, and as, in my view, Apple TV is not fit for purpose I demanded it back.
He crumbled and relented (for me that suggests that the manager had gone for an initial fob off on the gift vouchers).
Thereafter, many, many attempts (and many, many staff) were involved in disentangling the fact that my receipt was for a purchase from the Apple Store online at the same price as the Apple Store on terra firma.
In the end the deed was done.
I was, ultimately satisfied.
So, what does this say about Apple?
Actually, in my view, a lot of positive things.
Despite the shambolic process they honoured an agreement to replace a four month old technology purchase without any real gripes. They accepted that the customer’s view of the efficacy of the product may be wildly wrong, but he is actually the customer.
They, reluctantly, and with great difficulty, crossed distribution channels, albeit the same price, product and firm. But they did.
Overall, I feel good about the Apple attitude, but the experience was pretty rank.
Filed under: business, creativity, life, work | Tags: best masher, best potato masher, best vegetable masher, cooking aids, gadgets, gibberish, kitchen gadgets, mark gorman, mark gorman gibberish, masher, masher gadgets, mashing vegetables, potato masher, the pampered chef, the pampered chef potato masher
I love my ipod, my ipad, my Bose sound system, the garden speakers, my camera thumbpiece add on, apps, spotify…you name it.
But nothing has impressed me as much as this little pearl from The Pampered Chef. It was a gift from my brother and sister in law at Christmas but it’s a game changer.
I could mash potatoes for a living with this.
But look at it.
It’s just a one-piece bit of pre-moulded black plastic and yet, and yet…
It is seductive.
It is 100% ergonomic.
It scythes through vegetables as if they did not exist.
Imagine a Swedish Masseuse spending a quality five minutes with you…
That. Would. Be. Like. The. Pampered. Chef. Potato. Masher. In. Action.
Ecstacy.
Filed under: advertising, family, life, Rants, Scotland, stories, work | Tags: carphone warehouse, charles dunstone, fone expert dunfermline, htc desire, mobile phone companies, the gyle
First of all, because Alex Sneddon read my recent post about the HTC phone failure and Carphone Warehouse’s response, he gave me the correct contact details for Charles Dunstone. I emailed him last night and I received this email in reply this morning…
Dear Mr Gorman
Many thanks for your email, I am extremely sorry to hear of the problems your son is experiencing and concerned that you have had to contact to me in search of resolution.
I have got someone investigating what has gone wrong and we will be back to you shortly.
In the meantime, please accept my sincere apologies
Regards
Charles Dunstone
Literally five minutes after reading it the manager of the Gyle phoned me full of apologies for the treatment Tom had received at the Princes Street store! He offered an immediate exchange explaining that this “NEVER happens.” and that I had clearly escalated my complaint in an appropriate manner.
So, well done CFW for eventually doing the right thing.
Well done also for the brilliant Phone Expert in Dunfermline who allowed us to cancel our £75 (not £175 as we had been quoted by CFW) spare part order.
I wonder why they changed their minds? The power of blogging or just realising that they had made an unfair decision?
Filed under: Arts, creativity, humour, life, movies, work | Tags: aaron sorkin, be my friend, david fincher, facebook, harvard, ivy league, jesse eissenberg, Mark Zuckenberg, social media, the facebook, the social network
It’s not hard to imagine that a biopic of the creation of facebook – a project that isn’t even complete as its rise to world domination continues unabated – could be monumentally bad. For a start all of the characters in the movie are real, alive and known litigation junkies. In fact the structure of the film is built around litigation.
What’s more, it’s set in geek land, and it’s populated by America’s landed money generation; a class of kids who are not exactly imbued with likeability. Add to that the layer of egotism of successful entrepreneurs, that has to be applied if this is going to be a true reflection of the situation. And early on the movie dwells on a scene where the two key characters get off on the creation of an algorithm in a Harvard dorm and we’re in a place that has to be bad; does it not?
Well actually, no it doesn’t, in fact I can’t recall a biopic with such historical realism that betters this magnificent creation.
David Fincher is a director of some impact. Fight Club and se7en, to name but two of his grisliest creations, typically hit you hard from the off and keep on hitting. Not the sort of director you’d expect to be behind a successful exploration of coding in the Ivy League’s finest Halls of residence. But what Fincher does is dial back the excess and zone in on a cast of young people that somehow creates a magnificent and fully fleshed ensemble whilst giving Jesse Eissenberg the star vehicle that at its core it has to be. His portrayal of Mark Zuckenberg has to be seen to be believed. And believe me you’ll believe it. This is direction and acting of the highest calibre.
The establishing scene of Eissenberg in a College Union bar being dumped by his lifetime love Erica Albright (played gently and beautifully by Rooney Mara) is jaw-droppingly good for three reasons; the camera work (subtle and gorgeous throughout especially the tilt shift effect later in the movie in England’s Henley), the dialogue (well what did you expect, Aaron Sorkin wrote the script) and the acting. And that’s it. We’re off and running for nearly two hours where the action never stops for a second and yet,; not a swear word is heard, no fights, no sex, no nudity, no special effects – so how can this be an action movie?
And yet it is, it’s hilarious (but there are no gags, no slapstick) and it makes you think from start to finish. Because what Fincher and Sorkin have achieved is a morality tale for our time; not with the big crass in-your-faceness that Wall Street revels in, but in the intellectual ethics of Intellectual Property (IP). Wherever you look in the movie you’re challenged to think who was right and who was wrong.
IP changes hands and evolves at a dizzying speed – one wonders whether it was it the germ of the idea or its evolution that created Facebook’s value. Was Napster creator and serial entrepreneur Sean Parker (slyly played by Justin Trousersnake) a bandwagon-jumping opportunist or the real creator of Zuckerberg’s ultimate wealth? Was Zuckerberg an impressionable but loveable innocent or a self-centred traitor to his only friend Eduardo Severin (also played sympathetically and at times the axis of the movie by Andrew Garfeild)? Was Severin a philanthropist or a pariah and were the Winklevosses (I lied, there are special effects in this movie) real? I particularly liked the fact that Sorkin and Fincher avoided the temptation to rip into these ridiculous stereotypes and, in so doing, gave them at least a shred of dignity by the film’s end.
Oh, did I mention the stunning soundtrack by Trent Reznor (NIN)? Well, if I didn’t I should have because I’m going to buy the CD as soon as I’ve finished this review.
This is a very good film indeed. It most certainly justifies a ten rating and I urge you to see it.
PS. My pal did a show during the festival with this hilarious song in it. I leave it for you to enjoy.
Filed under: family, gardening, Labour, work | Tags: Araucaria araucana0, chilean pine, monkey puzzle tree
Have you ever planted a Monkey Puzzle tree (Araucaria araucana). Worse; have you ever dug up a monkey tree and then re-planted it. Worse still; have you ever dug up a 7 ft Monkey Puzzle tree that has firmly established itself in the middle of a gorse bush? But worst of all; have you ever dug up a 7 ft Monkey Puzzle tree that has firmly established itself in the middle of a gorse bush and then had to remove the roots and stump of a 20ft apple tree before you can replant the aforementioned Monkey Puzzle Tree in its place?
Well, that’s what I did this weekend.
Did I mention to you that Monkey Puzzles have razor sharp leaves and that Gorse has needle sharp leaves and that together these make for a very uncomfortable combination?
No? Well they do.
However our communal garden area, just across from the house now has a lovely (slightly lopsided) 7ft Monkey Puzzle tree.
I suppose this makes it seem worthwhile…
£250 nicker for a jaggy tree? Ours is bigger than that too!
Filed under: business, creativity, family, Scotland, work | Tags: home office, home office space, home working, office, study, the study
The place that I work; my study, office, spare room – call it what you you want – was beginning to look like a jumble sale before opening time.
So, yesterday, I spent three hours tidying and now I like it again.
Filed under: business, humour, the apprentice, work | Tags: Arjun Rajyagor, Jumior apprentice, sir alan, the apprentice, you're fired
Bless.
And so, the all too brief but wondrous, Junior Apprentice comes to an end with unquestionably the most likaeable Apprentice winner ever in Arjun Rayjagor.
Charming, articulate, willing, creative and…god…so polite.
I would hire this young man in the blink of an eye.
The rest were the usual hotch potch of wannabees and prats. But somehow, Junior Apprentice captured the human condition a little more sweetly, a little more believably than its daddy.
It was, in fact, the daddy.
Karren Brady played a blinder too by the way. Just enough to make her presence known. Not too much to piss Margaret off.
Nick Rocked.
Sir Alan? Och. He gets all the best lines.
Filed under: business, humour, life, Scotland, stories, work | Tags: blonde digital, mongol rally, phil adams, sick kids edinburgh, sick kids hospital edinburgh, the ambeciles
Should get through the traffic OK.
My mate, Phil Adams of Blonde Digital, is taking part in this summer’s Mongol Rally as part of a team called The Ambeciles (5 imbeciles in a secondhand ambulance). Check them out here http://www.theambeciles.com/
More details on the rally itself here – http://mongolrally.theadventurists.com/
They are looking to build their fanbase on facebook as it gives them access to more corporate sponsorship to underwrite the not inconsiderable costs of undertaking the adventure. If they can point to loads of fans the sponsors will be more likely to support them so please help this really good cause by signing up as a fan at http://www.facebook.com/TheAmbeciles
The objective, ultimately, is to raise money for various charities with over £1,500 raised so far in total.
They are planning to give the charity side of this a big push in July but if you would like to help just go to http://www.justgiving.com/TheAmbeciles The principal beneficiary from the Edinburgh end of The Ambeciles is The Sick Kids Friends Foundation.
Filed under: life, sports, work | Tags: motivation, motivational quotes, triumph, try, try and triumph
The only difference between try and triumph is the umph.
Filed under: advertising, business, humour, life, tv, videos, work, Youtube | Tags: brands, male bodywash, male perfume, male scent, Old spice, sex, sex sells, us advertising
US style. Brilliant new ad. Incredible strategy. For Old Spice.
and this is how they made it. Worth watching.
Filed under: advertising, humour, life, politics, Rants, Scotland, stories, work | Tags: complaints, Edinburgh Evening News, Evening News, facebook, facebook campaign, linlithgow, social marketing, Talk of the town
From the Edinburgh Evening News
Filed under: advertising, business, humour, jokes, life, videos, work, Youtube | Tags: christmas, christmas promotion, email scam, giving is glorious, mother, mother advertising, mother scam, phishing, promotion, scam, secret millionaire, self promotion, Web 2.0, win $10000free
Must watch. Genius. Giving truly can be glorious.
Filed under: advertising, Arts, books, business, family, football, golf, Hibees, humour, life, music, politics, Rants, Scotland, sports, stories, videos, work, Youtube | Tags: 2010
And so the noughties come to a close…
2009 was a funny old year in many ways.
Work wise I’ve never been busier and gained some fascinating new clients along the way not least STV, Ampersand, Corporation Pop and LA Media. But for some it has been a hell of a struggle and I hope things improve in 2010. My own prospects for 2010 look a bit less silly than 2009. Might even get some golf in. Only played three medals in 2009 but following my FIRST EVER golf lesson in November I went on to finish second. Yes, you heard that right, second in a winter medal and now sit proudly in 5th place overall in the winter league order of merit. Just shows you that you can teach an old dog new tricks.
It was a mare of a year music wise. I’ve already posted my tracks of the year elsewhere but I really struggled to pull together my top ten albums, so much so that I had to go into rereleases to make up the ten. Nevertheless, those that made it are great records in this or any year, there just weren’t many of them.
These are they;
The Phantom Band. Checkmate Savage.
The year started brightly with this oddball Krautrock-influenced Rock and Roll album from what sounds like a bunch of stoners from Glasgow. It’s great. And I notice that this video from the album is directed by Martin Wedderburn (who I’ve worked with on commercials and Bronagh Keegan! Who used to work for me at 1576. Not to mention Ray Allan as a Barman and some Tetrahedron masks.)
Melody Gardot. My One and Only Thrill.
Her first album showed promise, but her second is solid gold jazz and my personal achievement of the year was plucking up the courage to sing My One And Only Thrill from the record at the FAT concert on December 19th.
Doves. Kingdom of Rust.
This year’s Elbow? I suppose so, but this is to underestimate the quality of this beautiful, haunting and melodic rock record with real soul.
EG. Adventure Man.
Why does this man (Eg White – silly name I know) not have a higher profile? He writes many of Britain’s best pop songs (Chasing Pavements, Warwick Avenue, songs for Pink, James Morrison, Take That, Beverley Knight, Kylie Minogue, Will Young etc) . He’s current songwriter of the year and nobody has heard of him. This is only his third album in two decades and it is astounding. Pure wondrous pop. Check him out please.
Bill Callahan. Sometimes I wish we were an eagle.
He was in Smog. He WAS Smog. (So what. Nobody knows Smog either. Ed.) This album came from nowhere from my point of view so thanks to Ian Dommett for introducing it to me. It’s a wee bit like Lambchop from a vocal perspective but the music is way, way different. Trust me on this one.
The XX. The XX.
A quite extraordinary debut. Sounding like a cross between Young Marble Giants and The Cocteau twins, but nothing like either, this was surely the debut of the year. Electrifying and beautiful. Self produced too. Not bad for a bunch of teenagers. Interesting to see what happens next time round. This video has already had 1.7m hits on youtube so clearly they are hitting a few people’s buttons.
Andrew Bird. Noble Beast.
A multi instrumentalist from the states. This is his 5th album and I’d missed them all before. I will be catching up next year.
The Mummers. Tale to tell.
I saw March of The Dawn on Jools and was immediately blown away (that’s also where I discovered the XX). The rest of the album hangs together well but this is the stand out track for sure.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs. It’s Blitz.
Truth to tell I’ve not played this album that much, but it’s a great slice of arthouse rock and roll. The critics loved it. It only got into my top ten by the skin of its teeth though.
Kraftwerk. Radioactivity, Computer Love and Trans Europe Express.
The re-release of Kraftwerk’s entire back catalogue fully remastered was the music event of the year. This band’s influence never wanes. But it’s clear they had a golden period with the three albums above taking my personal plaudits. All of them pure 5 star and all quite different. I think Radioactivity is my favourite.
Although all of the following met with critical acclaim I’m cool on them; Noah and The Whale, Paulo Nuttini (Although this would probably win the family’s album of the year overall on default – Ria and Jeana loved it and Tom and I were OK with it), Pete Doherty, (back to being a wanker again I see – is that ‘cos nobody bought his so so album) even Graham Coxon’s latest wasn’t that brilliant.
Martha Wainwright’s Edith Piaf record is good but not great, the God Help the Girl album was not good at all (I think Stuart Murdoch is missing the influence of his muse).
Time may show that I have overlooked the Animal Collective’s interesting album but I’m not so sure – a bit like TV on the Radio, the critics love it bus is it actually any good.
My blog has hit 296,000 views in the year which is 40,000 down on 2008 and perhaps reflects fewer posts (only 385 in total). Or maybe it’s just shit now. Still I think it’s a respectable total and thanks for your comments but I’d still like more contributions telling me when I’m being a tosser. Especially you Iain as you regularly tell me offline.
The Hibees came back with a vengeance under the coaching of Yogi Hughes but the defeat to Rangers last week suggests a glass ceiling has been well and truly hit. But there is some hope AGAIN for the cup.
Our clubs in Europe were pitiful and my lowlight in that respect was Falkirk (population 34,000) going out to a team from the mighty Lichtenstein – population 35,000 – that’s the country, not the town the team comes from. Liechtenstein is so small it doesn’t even have a league.
Theatre played a big part in my year. Apart from as an audience member.
I enjoyed Confined Human Condition by Cryptic and The Last Witch during the festival (although it was a bit overrated). My role as a director of The Lyceum developed and I thought the production of Memoirs of a Justified Sinner was the highlight of the year. Truly awesome. But nothing was to match the impact of Ragtime during the festival in which Ria joined the ranks brilliantly and Ya Beauty which was an experience I will never forget. My dad would have had “the tingles” for months.
Amy did brilliantly at school and finally nailed her English which gives her a great bunch of results to pursue her further education later this year. In the meantime she’s doing great working full time at Dakota and having passed her driving test has her own transport (a rather beaten up Fiat Punto but it works, mostly). Sadly Stuart moved away to Port Knockie so we ain’t seen so much of him.
Tom’s golf continued to improve and his handicap went from 15 to 11. He won two medals and The Greenkeepers Trophy and competed regularly for the team which is an achievement as it’s probably Ratho’s best ever junior team. We went to watch but that ended in tears. A lot of the older guys leave for next year so interesting times. He also got into the Dunfermline Masters for the second year running.
He and Ria both have their Standard Grades this year and both got credits (in Tom’s case on appeal) in their English this year.
That particular subject has caused some grief as it is clear that Tom and Ria take rather different views on the importance of studying. But I’ll not go into that here.
Ria substituted gymnastics for drama and I think she enjoys it much more as she has made a great new bunch of pals at FCT and is in her second show this Easter (Just So based on The Rudyard Kipling stories. Watch this space.). Ria is working like a trooper and had brilliant results in her prelims. And she’s got a fella! He’s not had the Gorman grilling yet. But there is time for that.
Jeana’s work at Suntrap has blossomed (pun intended) and she loves it. She managed two open days this year to great success. Aided and abetted by her blog which you can find here . It has steadily grown and is now pulling in 10,000 views a month. She provided Tom and I with our comedy moment of the year when she slipped in Alvor during the summer holidays and cut her knee. The slip was a true Laurel and Hardy moment as she careered down a cobbled street on her knees. Tom and I wet ourselves but that was THE WRONG THING TO DO, and we were punished accordingly. Needless to say Ria was a tower of strength to Jeana in this moment of humiliation. Tom and I still laugh about it.
We apologise. Sorry Jeana.
However Alvor did give us our funniest collective moment of the year as you will see from this video which we shot in the town square in Alvor. It was the local orchestra playing and this wee bloke at the back had only one job which he executed with lack of enthusiasm but not a great deal of ability as will be revealed. We enjoyed it immensely as you will hear.
I also discovered the old 1576 promo videos that we created many years ago. Not a good idea.
In books only one really stands out in a disappointing year. I just didn’t have time. This is astounding.
But I enjoyed this too…
And my movie of the year? I got to see a lot of great movies this year and the ones that really stood out were; the Hurt Locker, Harry Brown, The White Ribbon, Sherlock Holmes, Looking For Eric and Drag Me to Hell but the best for me was a TV documentary/movie of epic proportions made by the History Channel.
TV show of the year? No Question. True Blood.
Digital gizmo of the year? Again. no question. Spotify. But Facebook make a major ressurgence. So much so that Jeana complained at one point that I was neglecting the blog. Yeah, right enough. Only 380 posts!. Twitter continues to not flick my switch but I persevere.
My man of 2008, was Yogi Hughes.
Idiot of the Year? Kenny Macaskill for doing a Tony Bliar [sic] on us about Magrahi.
Best party was the Yah Beauty wrap, followed closely by the Ragtime wrap.
Wife of the year? Jeana Gorman. 20th year running.
Put it this way. I couldn’t live with me. Still.
And so to 2010.
My hopes?
Hibees win the Scottish Cup. (You say that every year. Ed.)
Tom gets down to a 7 handicap.
I win something, anything, at Dundas Park
Amy gets into Uni.
I am healthy throughout.
Both Cath and Jean stay healthy too.
Tom and Ria do well in their exams.
The credit crunch doesn’t get worse again.
Filed under: advertising, business, football, humour, jokes, life, Scotland, sports, stories, The Scotsman, work | Tags: ads, George Burley, Scotland manager, Scotsman.com, SFA, The Scotsman
- Could you close the door behind you on the way out?
Hats off to the The Drum for thinking up one of the inanest awards schemes ever. The Golden Twits; a scheme that awards Twitterers for great “Twiting”. My opinion of Twitter is no secret. I think it reeks of piss and ham, but I do persevere.
Anyway, I thought I’d enter in a subversive way and this is my entry…
I hope they take in the spirit it was meant.
Filed under: Arts, books, family, humour, jokes, life, stories, videos, work | Tags: nick cave, The Death of Bunny Munro
“I don’t believe in an interventionist god” sings Nick Cave as the intro to one of his finest songs.
The sheer outrageousness and majesty of his writing hints at what lies in store for readers of “bunny.”
Actually, the tone of this, his finest moment, with its epic scope is closer in tone to the content of “bunny.”
It’s the story of a fundamentalist lothario. All he lives for is “pussy”. He fantasises about Avril Lavigne and Kylie throughout as he makes his way across the south coast of England.
Meanwhile his wife, aware of this, takes her life as their son pads through rooms scattered in coco pops.
Post funeral Bunny takes to the road with Bunny Junior and seeks solace in yet more psexual activity with increasingly unsavoury outcomes. His son, meanwhile, fantasises about his deceased mother and nurses scabrous and mind-numbingly painful eyes.
He is, in short, a misogynist and cares not.
Or does he?
In fact, this foul and bawdy romp, which makes Irvine Welsh read like Enid Blyton is ultimately a tale of remorse and a thing of great beauty.
I wholly recommend it.
Filed under: advertising, Arts, life, stories, work | Tags: creativity, delusion, drum poll, most creative city in britain, Newcastle, the Drum
People of Newcastle I salute your home pride. Deluded as it is. If I was being unbiased I’d say Manchester. As it is I voted for Edinburgh.
Filed under: advertising, business, family, humour, jokes, life, music, Scotland, stories, The Scotsman, tv, work | Tags: kate harris, NABS, NABS music quiz, Nabs Scotland, the Drum
The Nightfly
Oh, what a night. In the end 72 finely honed competitors turned up for the third NABS music quiz, including reigning champions Multiply who doubled up their effort to see if they could defend their hard fought trophy. But they were reckoning without Mino (Fucking) Russo who ringed for the winning team. More on that later.
From my perspective the night got off to a stinker. Jeana, who had the PA, the questions (and answers) and the marking team in the boot of her car chose to leave the house (40 minutes away) at the time I asked her to arrive. As a consequence a great cloud of gloom and frustration hung over the Nightlfly’s head (that’s me) as we set up at the last minute.
Not a moment was available to spin those wheels of steel. In fact the wheels of fucking steel weren’t even working to begin with.
But in time we got things going and the evening commenced with a satisfying enough and incident free first round about numbers in songs.
Hmmm. Interesting speech Kate.
Team names were as good as you’d imagine from the creative world. ie not very.
Thin Quizzy
The STV opt outs
Troy Division
Michael Barrymore’s swimming club (who were deducted a point for bad taste)
Guy Robertson’s Home Wreckers
Quiz De Burgh
Let’s get quizzical (surely googled)
Drumb and Drumber and Richard the C***
Now, the Drum were publicly admonished for calling their editor a C*** in the team mate and also docked a point. I can reveal that this issue rolled on post match and after consultation with his mother Richard has confirmed that the team name was indeed appropriate and the point has subsequently been reinstated, not that it matters because they were pish. (Coming in 16th of 18). Well I caveat that; they were excellent in the musicals round where Stephen (the virgin) Lepitak showed all the skills of a forty something housewife and swept the board. (Shame they didn’t play their joker, which in fact they did in the first round with all the tactical nous of Kevin Keegan.)
We go to 11 (get it? I didn’t. It’s a Spinal tap ref)
Def Lepers (nice)
Jackson 4 (tasteful)
Anyway. Round 5 had to be cancelled (the highly controversial itunes genre round) because I forgot to print out the answers and my entire family fell out with me because their late arrival had set a 9.6 out of 10 stress level in me and I was a touch touchy to begin with.
But as the evening wore on it became more and more convivial with record bar takings.
The bonus points awarded to best dancers for The Time Warp were scooped by The STV Opt Outs which helped them in their bitter war of attrition with the Scotsman (Thin Quizzy) with the final result being a wafer thin victory to STV (88.5 and a creditable 5th place) to The Scotsman’s (87 and 7th place).
It ain't fucking 'strictly' is it...
In the end quality shone through and Newhaven’s team led by Troy Farnsworth (Troy Division) held out to win back the trophy they won in the inaugural competition in 2007 by 7 points to beat Spinal Crap into second (after a stewards enquiry arithmetical incompetence by my daughter Amy revealed that the team we thought were second (the DP’s) were in fact third with 91.)
The scoreboard (note lack of fifth round)
That means Mino (fucking) Russo got his hands on the trophy for the second time. He worked at Fopp you know. He may be banned next time from playing a ringer’s role.
Mino (fucking) Russo and 'that'
Filed under: advertising, business, photography, stories, work | Tags: advertising in Scotland, Digital agency, Edinburgh, mark waites, Mike Coulter, mother london, Rufus Wedderburn, stv, think hard
I was extraordinarily priveleged to host an event for STV last night in which we had Mark Waites, founder and creative director of Mother London, speak.
By 3 am, as the grappa had flowed ceaselessly at Rufus Wedderburn’s gaff, I was quite tired.
But Mark was wonderful and if you follow this link you’ll find a fantastic photographic capture of the event thanks to my dear friend, Mike Coulter. He likes a grappa or two, too.
Filed under: advertising, life, work | Tags: australia, Australian media job, Sunshine coast daily, Working in Australia
For those of you fed up with working in print media in the UK this might be your dream job which was sent to me by Stephen Tait from Down Under.
