Filed under: advertising, bbc, creativity | Tags: BBC, charlie brooker, chris moyles, strictly, Strictly come dancing
That was Charlie Brooker (kind of a hero of mine) venting about BBC advertising and I thank Paul Readman for the link. This is it here if you want to read on…
I was venting about the BBC Christmas ad in my previous post but really I hardly got started. And I’ve vented before. Sometimes at length. But I want to tell you why.
The John Cleese blockbuster ad that I praised previously, and will share with you again, is exempt from this tirade because it serves a purpose. It is there to raise license fee income and was created in a day when license evasion was easier than in today’s database driven cookie world.
Today, however, most of the licence fees are collected and the BBC is simply awash with money. Sure it has to make significant cuts but hey, who doesn’t?
It is doing some good things like moving puffed up arrogent twats out of their comfy Hamstead dwellings and into the real world that is called Salford, but there’s a much easier way for it to save its corpulent budgets.
Stop advertising. Yes, I know, that’s what I do for a living. But you have to draw the line somewhere..
As Brooker states in his column, why does the BBC need to spend gazzilions on a Cecille B De Mille epic for Strictly Come Dancing (its biggest show) when anyone who wants to see has it hotwired into their brains or if that ain’t working (which is debatable to say the least if they watch “strictly”) then hotwired into their Sky Plus box.
And why does the channel insist on advertising its crown jewels not just on its own space (at no media cost) but on commercial channels that we (yes, you and me) are paying for.
Take this for Chris Moyles…
Chris Moyles is the market leader (apart from the other nauseating Chris, also on BBC) so why does he need an ad campaign to increase his listening figures
IT DOESN’T MATTER how many people listen to Chris Moyles because the BBC is not a commercial operation. You and I , the tax payer, won’t see a reduction in the license fee because Chris Fucking Moyles has more listeners. In fact arguably it’s the OPPOSITE.
Chris: “Hi DG. I want a pay rise.”
DG: “Why?”
Chris: “Cause my audience just got bigger.”
Know what I mean?
And, what’s more advertising on a paid for medium for a show that can only damage its commercial rivals is, IMHO immoral and obscene.
I ask you? It makes me vent. It makes me foam at the mouth.
And yes, it might even make me silver.
Filed under: advertising, bbc, creativity, humour, Rants, tv, Youtube | Tags: BBC, BBC 2011, BBC christmas, bbc christmas trailer, BBC TV
BBC One’s Christmas 2011 trailer featuring a selection of faces that will be part of the line up on the channel over the Christmas period. Including Gregg Wallace, John Bishop, Gary Lineker, Len Goodman, Lee Mack, Guy Henry, Laila Rouass, Hugh Quarshie, Shane Richie, Shona McGarty, Ricky Norwood, Frank Skinner, Brendan O’Carroll, Tyger Drew-Honey, Ramona Marquez, Daniel Roche, Kevin Bridges, Sian Williams, Carol Kirkwood, Chris Hollins, Bill Turnbull, Matt Allwright, Lenny Henry, Tess Daly, Fiona Bruce, Alex Jones, Sunetra Sarker, Alexander Armstrong, Graham Norton, Julia Bradbury, Sir David Jason, Anne Robinson, John Torode, Nick Knowles, June Brown, Matt Smith, Karen Gillan, Michael McIntyre and Sir Bruce Forsyth.
Each and every last one of them makes a total tit of themselves in a trailer that would make a grown man cry. Well, it did this one.
Reprehensible stuff from the people who can make solid gold like this…
“I mean, there’s not even any commercials…well, except this one.”
Filed under: Arts, bbc, books, creativity, photography, tv | Tags: BBC, bbc costume drama, BBC Drama, Chris O'Dowd, michel faber, romola garai, the crimson petal and the white
I love Michel Faber’s writing and it’s a toss up between this and Under The Skin for his greatest work. The two could be no more different; Under the Skin is a taught contemporary sci fi horror set in Scotland and this; an 800 page monstrous take on Dickensian Victorian London.
Both are really great books and consequently both run the risk of taking a good pasting when put on screen.
There has been many year’s of talk that TCPATW would be Hollywood-made and for a while rumour had it that Kirsten Dunst was to be the heroine, Sugar. However it fell eventually to the BBC to make this near epic adaptation. I say near epic because big and bold as it was I think it had even greater potential.
The previews did not make great reading; the panel on Newsnight Review, with the honourable exception of Maureen Lipman, annihilated it, so I approached fearing the worst.
I needn’t have worried.
The, at times, over tricksy focus pulling in the camera work was a bit heavy handed but this was overcome on balance because otherwise it was excellent (moody, creepy, almost surreal in places and beautifully emphasised by a particularly odd (in a good way) score written by newcomer Cristobal Tapai de Veer).
The set and costumes are astounding and the acting of the entire cast, but Particularly Chris O’Dowd (the IT team) and Romola Garai were of BAFTA winning standards, and had to be to pull it off.
In particular O’Dowd’s tortured portrayal of sappy rich boy William Rackham is magnificent. It’s as if he can’t decide how to play the role, but that’s just how Faber wrote it. In the end he comes across as merely a weak sap who is only in it for himself. Perhaps he cannot help it as we frequently see when he is led astray by his particularly vulgar “friends”.
Romola Garai, by contrast, is nailed to the tracks in the conviction of her character, as the upwardly mobile Sugar; pulling herself out of the stench thanks to the interest of Rackham who gradually exalts her social profile in a London where status was everything (and boy did she have status in the underworld, starting off as the top prostitute in London). Her gritty but sometimes tender performance is the beating heart of the book and this ultimately excellent adaptation.
It’s still on iplayer but I’d wait for the DVD and splash out.
For me it would play out better as an epic four hour movie rather than a four part TV series.
Wonderful. Bring on the BAFTAs. (And the Emmys).
Filed under: conservative, humour, Labour, liberal, life, politics, Scotland, stories, UK election | Tags: alex salmon, BBC, leaders debate, SNP
aye aye
Salmond’s challenging of the SNP’s right to be in the leadership debate is at the very least entertaining and at best an interesting constitutional call. I’m in favour of him winning the court case I have to say.
He has two reasons for justifying his claim;
- He has managed a coalition with little fuss for three years
- He governs 10% of the country
Mrs contradiction!
The new Sophie Dahl TV cook programme is an extreme B list celeb indulgence by the Beeb in which an ex-fat, but beautiful, model (and famous granddaughter. Ed) gets the chance to be a fucking crap - no really FUCKING CRAP, presenter. And she succeeds.
In comparison, Delia is like Florence Griffiths Joyner.
But it’s more than just crap TV. It’s crap use of our licence fee; paying rich people good money that don’t need it.
It’s not
- insightful
- mouldbreaking
- interesting
- cheap
- good
- sexy
- worth spending the time blogging about it
Goodnight.
Filed under: Arts, life, music, politics, Rants, stories | Tags: 6 music, 6 music bbc trust review, 6music review, BBC, bbc trust, bbc trust review, bbc6, music, radio 6
You know my feelings about the BBC. They are the world’s greatest broadcaster, BUT, they know it and they abuse their power. Why oh why should they be allowed to spend licence fee payers’ money on commercial advertising for instance (eg The Chris Moyles Show) instead of spending it on programmes.
So, now they are getting TOO successful on digital. What’s the solution?
I’ll tell you what. Cut the one fucking station that I love. Yes BBC 6 is purported to be for the chop (allegedly). It’s subject to the findings of a BBC Trust review early next year.
Great. That’s covered by other channels they say. Which channels exactly. Radio 2? Don’t make me laugh.
BBC 6 is the absolute bastion of contemporary music quality. Brilliant presenters who love music (often performing it themselves) playing music that people who love music love.
You know what.
It stinks.
Radio 1 now, that’s irreplaceable isn’t it. After all nothing on earth compares to Chris Moyles and Scott Mills. Those bastions of broadcasting brilliance.
Get a grip BBC. Use your brains for once. Now that we have classic FM, do we need BBC3? Now that there are a million popular music stations do we need Radio 1?
Filed under: Rants, tv | Tags: BBC, john humphries, mastermind, Question Time
He is a poor imitation of Magnuss Magnusson and now he is a parlous imitation of David Dimbleby.
Please BBC, spare us this torment.
Filed under: Arts, humour, jokes, life, movies, politics, Rants, stories | Tags: Afghanistan, Alistair campbell, armando iannucci, BBC, in the loop, iraq, Peter Capaldi, political correctness, the crossest man in Scotland
In the Loop is a quite extraordinary political romp. I say romp because the film does 0 -60 in three seconds and then stays in top gear to the end, smashing through red lights, taboo barriers, and political incorrectness like a deranged Starsky and Hutch.
It’s a political satire, sure, and so in that respect it should be compared to West Wing or Yes Minister, but both of these are so relatively genteel that they occupy very different spaces.
The central character, The Minister for Development played beautifully by Tom Hollander, bumbles his way deeper and deeper into an international crisis that is a nod and a wink to Bush and Blair’s hapless invasion of Iraq. The star of the movie though, is Peter Capaldi, unquestionably lampooning Alistair Campbell with a ferociousness that makes your eyes bleed. At one point he threatens to sever hapless Toby Wright’s leg off at the knee, break his shin bone in two and stab him to death with it.
You get the drift?
Capaldi puts in a career best performance as a complete and utter bastard. A total power mad twat and every second he is on screen is gold dust.
Armando Iannucci’s script is packed full of foul one-liners that serve up belly laugh after belly laugh. It actually makes In Bruges look restrained.
He slags the American military, posh twits from Oxbridge, the English, Political correctness and anything else that crosses his path.
It’s a fucking belter.
9 out of 10.
This clip pretty much sums the movie up. But beware, it is wholly intended to offend and features that C word that many of you find most unappealing.
Or try this. It’s misogynistic, foul mouthed in the extreme, rude, violent, sexist and with a reference to bestiality thrown in.
Apart from that it’s perfectly innocent.
Filed under: books, humour, life, Rants, stories | Tags: andrew sachs, BBC, Brand and Ross, jonathon ross, my booky wook, Ross and brand, russel brand, the jonathon ross show
The furore over the childish prank fashioned by Jonathon Ross as guest presenter on the Russel Brand show is appropriate.
As it happens, I am currently reading Brand’s autobiography and in it (early days so far) he comes across as not far short of mentally ill. He has conquered drink and drug addiction but his sex addiction is far from cured.
And, actually, it’s not funny.
It seems to stem from a childlife immersed in porn and the overseeing of his father’s sexual proclivity. In this paragraph, recounting an experience from a holiday at Pontins as a seven year old where he spies his father about to ‘have it off’ with the mother of the girl Brand is hanging about with you can see the complexity of Brand’s relationship with sex. It’s great material because the metaphor that forms the basis of this tale is sad, but outstanding…
“…at that point the woman walked out of the bathroom naked and shrieked. She tried to cover herself up – all knockers and skin everywhere almost independently trying to escape her – like she was a vet’s assistant bungling her way through her first day, mishandling a litter of recalcitrant piglets…Intriguing I thought.”
I think my point is that Brand almost can’t help himself. He has a problem that perhaps needs to be understood as opposed to vilified. It’s the basis of much of his humour, but we all know how many comedians are tortured souls (no question Brand is).
Ross, on the other hand, is a trumped up chance-taker. He revels in titillation of a homo or hetero style. He flirts outrageously with every single guest on his much overrated TV show whilst declaring undying love to his long suffering wife. (His radio programme is far superior.)
It was Ross that initiated the badness, in my view spiced up by the frisson of danger that hosting Brand’s, The BBC’s enfent terrible, show might have afforded him. It was him that told poor old Andrew Sachs that Brand had had sexual relations with his granddaughter. I believe Brand just went with the flow, (not that I’m endorsing his behaviour I have to say).
It’s all rather sad. And I do think both of them need a bollocking. Brand for being stupid. But Ross in particular, the perhaps calculating ringleader and school bully.
But you just know, don’t you, that a bit of grovelling, a charity cheque or two will smooth the whole thing over.
Filed under: music, tv, videos, Youtube | Tags: BBC, Jools, jools holland, sia
I really hope Sia’s second album is
a) as good as her first and
b) as good as the lead single.
Filed under: Arts, family, humour, life, music, Scotland | Tags: BBC, bbc 6 music bbc radio 6, freakzone, radio, stuat maconie
I was well chuffed last night as Stuart Maconie read out my two emails to him the week before. You can listen if you like here. I was mentioned at 6.36 which is, I think, 1 hour 36 minutes in.
Filed under: Arts, humour, jokes, life, politics, stories, tv | Tags: BBC, britain, comed, David Walliams, little britain USA, matt Lucas, tv, UK, usa
Well, that’ll never work.
Actually it did.
Crude. Shocking. Outrageous. Hilarious.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: BBC, bbc 6 music, electronica, experimental music, freakzone, stuart maconie
Is it just me or is Stuart Maconie’s Freakzone not the best programme on the radio. There is ALWAYS something new and interesting to hear. He’s not afraid to play 30 minute tracks every now and then. He is knowledgeable, likeable and tasteful
6 Music. Every Sunday at 5pm.
Tune in or drop out.
Filed under: Arts, life, stories | Tags: BBC, BBC Drama, Fiona's Story, Gina McKee
Gina McKee
Give the BBC their due. I know I’ve ranted a bit about their Olympic bias but they sure can do drama and despite mixed notices in front of tonight’s Fiona’s Story I thought it was outstanding.
Mind you, it had Gina McKee as the lead and she cannot put a foot wrong in my book. An A-class actress indeed and she carried off a very difficult and sensitive role with great subtlety.
It was a complex emotional plot, based on McKee’s husband being nobbled (no pun intended) for downloading child porn and then gradually attempting to take the emotional high ground by assuming the position of victim as opposed to perpetrator. McKee’s character, the wife, got landed with all the emotional shit and painted into the bad corner at every turn, despite being as sympathetic as one could possibly tolerate.
A very fine performance (BAFTA anyone?) in a very fine production.
Filed under: bieijing olympics, humour, jokes, life, olympics, Rants, sports, stories, tv | Tags: BBC, michael johnson, michael phelps, sue barker, usain bolt
Usain Bolt once again bolted up, this time in the 200m final, becoming the only man ever to set world records in the 100 and 200m Olympic finals in the same year. He destroyed the field again. What an incredible pair of performances.
In doing so he robbed Michael Johnson of his 200m World Record and Johnson responded, when asked by Sue Barker on the BBC tonight how he thought Bolt compared to Phelps (if one can even make a genuine comparison ) by saying, and I kid you not that (and I paraphrase) “Bolt had a far greater impact because Phelps never ‘rewrote’ anything.”
Och man. Have a word with yourself
He won eight gold medals, more than any other human being EVER. To add to his six from the last Olympics. That’s 14 Gold medals. What’s more he broke six world records.
Now, I’m not comparing the two but to say Phelps never rewrote anything smacks of a collosal ego.
What the subscript says is this.
“Bolt is great because he beat MY long standing world record.”
Boo.
Filed under: life, olympics, politics, Rants, sports, stories, tv | Tags: BBC, london 2012, olympics
BBC bias.
They’re at it again. The BBC.
Why oh why oh why does every event in Beiijing have to allude to 2012 in London. Please just let us enjoy these Olympics.
Please?
You know what it is. It’s Britain’s endless ability to see itself as superior to the rest of the world. And they’re scared. These Olympics have been astoundingly good. Forget the politics for a moment. It has been a feast of sport in magnificent facilities with an opening ceremony that you simply could not have concieved of. So what does the BBC do? It projects forward to 2012 in such a way that makes this Olympiad seem of secondary importance.
It insults me.
It insults Britain’s Olympic team.
It insults Beijing.
It sucks.
Shut up BBC, you embarrass me.
Filed under: humour, life, sports, stories | Tags: asymetric bars, BBC, Beijing olympics, beth downie, beth tweddle, Christine Still, gymnastics, gymnastics at olympics, olympics, women's gymnastics
Get out the freaking road ya radge.
We watched Beth Tweddle kick the lower bar in her qualifying routine but still qualify. ( i think it was a secret part of her routine that added to the degree of difficulty. I mean, it would have been much easier to miss it!)
But the thing that gets me is those blokes that dive in and about the poor lassies’ feet in case they fall off
It’s my contention that it’s not despite these crazy guys that they fall off it’s because of them.
GET OUT OF THE FLIPPIN’ WAY YOU BIG GALLOOTS!
You didn’t see that big British lass, Becky Downie, using one of those ‘catchers’ – she’d have flattened the poor gadgey. And she never fell off.
Point proven!
The highlight of the competition was listening to that female English commentator (Christine Still) willing, really willing, the French to fall over on every piece of apparatus so that England could qualify.
The sense of hollow compliments as time and again the French did a bit better than they needed to was hilarious.
“Yes (I suppose) that was very good (bitch)” She’d proclaim through teeth more gritted than the M8 in a snowstorm as another French burd got a 14.3 or thereabouts.
“We only need one of them to have a cardiac and the English are through.” she said at one point. (Nah, she didn’t but she might as well.)
Filed under: family, humour, jokes, life, Rants, stories, the apprentice, tv, work | Tags: Alan sugar, Apprentice 2008, BBC, BBC Apprentice, kevin shaw, raef, sir alan
If I was a reasonable person, and I’m not – or else you wouldn’t be reading this – I would not slag off twitty Raef at all in this post because the volume of alternative quality material on tonight’s Apprentice leaves him trailing.
But, and it’s a big but, he did say…
“The spoken word is my tool.” (Well, we all know he IS A TOOL, but this was a different take on that thought.)
And
“”Bravo!” after Myleen Klasse’s recital in the house.
And
“”Single people are the forgotten part of society.” (Oh really Raef? How awful for you.)
However, the week’s delights were saved for Kevin Shaw.
Let’s put this all in perspective before we start on the details.
Kevin Shaw is an arse.
For instance he said that he…
“Will do anything to be the most succesful businessman in the world by the time I am 40.”
Which obviously sits squarely with his declaration that
“I always try 150%.” (Not quite sure how one does that actually.)
Kevin Shaw – this is him here…
…put the “laughing at you” into the “I”m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you.”
I mean, if this is the cream of British management potential, I am a potential Chelsea player.
The ineptness of his management of the task, which consisted of him authorising the creation of a greetings card to celebrate being green, was unprecedented. Ria, my 13 year old daughter said, (IMMEDIATELY the idea was raised) “You can’t send a green card! It would need to be an e-card because sending a card isn’t green.”
And so did Sir Alan. But ugly Ginger Spice railroaded him into it.
Claire, who accused Kevin of having “short man syndrome” – that’s rich from someone with “ugly boot syndrome” – spent most of the task being nicer than she’s ever been in her life before (she didn’t actually sever anyone’s head during the making of the programme for a start) and, as a consequence, survived.
Oh, it was a goodun.
Filed under: Arts, life, photography | Tags: august sander, BBC, BBC4, Germanic, germany, history of photography, portraits, Portraiture, war, war photography, World War 2, WWII
BBC4 is running an unbelievably good series on the history of photography called “the Genius of Photography”.
It is unmissable.
And this week one of the featured photographers was new to me (I’m ashamed to say)
Nevertheless he is wonderful and I’d like to share his work with you.
A German called August Sander who shot some of the most stunning portraits of the inter-war years.
Here are just a few.
This man is focussed.
Ditto.
I love the humour in this shot.
I believe this is the seminal Sander shot and I can see why…
And so is this…
I found this and love it…
