Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: david cameron, easy jet, house of lords, londo olympics, lothian and borders police, naples airport, olympics, omnishambles, Rangers, Rangers debacle, rangers fc, schoolkids, Sleasy Jet, transportation, travel, vacation
This word is trending right now.
It’s trending because of the Olympics because they’re threatening to go Pete Tong (but won’t) but really the word could apply to a lot of things and it has the potential to become a real favourite of mine.
It could apply to the Easyjet check in process that I experienced at Naples airport last week. Well, when I say process I mean complete lack of process. It truly was an omnishambles and could have been solved so simply with a bit of literal (not even lateral) thinking. Four flights checking in at around the same time (over about 40 minutes) and five check in desks one dedicated to fast pass check in that nobody was using because we ain’t falling for another way for SleasyJet to rip a tenner out of you) but anybody could check in to any desk. The result? As each flight became perilously close to gate closure all the remaining passengers were called to the front in a massive scrum – the worst case being 50 schoolkids headed to the front of the queue that we were in and held us up for half an hour. Truly, miraculously stupid. The solution. One desk per flight and if you arrive late you miss your flight. Simple.
It could apply to David Cameron and his House of Lords debacle. Frankly it could apply to David Cameron. Full Stop.
It could apply to Rangers FC and the entire farce that has attended the unraveling of their legacy of cheating.
It could apply to the mess that Lothian and Borders Police made of traffic managing the closure of the Edinburgh Bypass on Saturday when I nearly missed my dear Friend Kennny Harris’ funeral (as it happened I was 50 minutes late).
You see, omnishambles could become omnipresent in my vocabulary. Look forward to it.
Filed under: conservative, Labour, liberal, life, politics, Rants, UK election | Tags: arran, arran politics, ayrshire, david cameron, gay politics, Philip Lardner, the election, the tories, tory gay gaff, tory prejudice, tory scum, UK election
I read tonight that, and I quote, Philip Lardner, the Tory election candidate for North Ayrshire and Arran, said that most Britons consider homosexuality to be “somewhere between unfortunate and simply wrong” and it should not be supported by the state.
Philip Lardner. No longer the candidate for Ayrshire and Arran.
In a section on his website, he supported parents and teachers who do not want children to be taught about homosexuality and churches who do not want to employ gay people.
Philiip Lardner is not really in touch with this century and life in general.
He ought to heed this poster.
Filed under: family, jokes, life, politics, Rants, stories | Tags: conservatives, david cameron, trust, wank
Ria, my inquisitive but uninitiated political daughter, spent some time tonight quizzing me on the fundamentals of the upcoming election.
It was very interesting.
I then asked her what she thought.
By a mile Nick Clegg was her party leader of choice and it seems that the ‘Three Leaders’ speech has become a breakthrough moment for the Libs.
But the killer comment was this.
“David Cameron? I wouldn’t trust him with a bag of lettuce”
Filed under: humour, jokes, life, politics, Rants, Scotland, stories | Tags: cameron and white van man, david cameron, hurrah!, oliver and hardy, tories, tory wets, wets, white van man
Taken, verbatim from The Times online…
David Cameron was attacked by a white van driver who tried to push him into a car as he cycled home from a dinner late at night.
The van had been following him and was stopping and starting, which made Mr Cameron nervous. “I turned down a road I don’t normally go down, and I slowed down and sort of pulled in behind a line of parked cars,” he reveals in a book out today.
“As this van drove by this hand came out and just bashed me in the back with the aim of pushing me in front of the car. Luckily I managed to put the brakes on.”
The incident happened a few months ago and is recounted in Cameron on Cameron, which is based on conversations that the Conservative leader had with Dylan Jones, the Editor of GQ, over the past year.
Can you imagine the ignominy of being assassinated by a white van man. I’m crying, literally crying with laughter writing this.
Gosh, he’s so…tough.
Salmond would have run after the gadgey and kicked his heid in.
Him and George Osborne? Laurel andHardy.
What would the papers have said?
Och, I’ll let you tell me. I’m off for a rest.
