Filed under: business, humour, the apprentice, work | Tags: Arjun Rajyagor, Jumior apprentice, sir alan, the apprentice, you're fired
And so, the all too brief but wondrous, Junior Apprentice comes to an end with unquestionably the most likaeable Apprentice winner ever in Arjun Rayjagor.
Charming, articulate, willing, creative and…god…so polite.
I would hire this young man in the blink of an eye.
The rest were the usual hotch potch of wannabees and prats. But somehow, Junior Apprentice captured the human condition a little more sweetly, a little more believably than its daddy.
It was, in fact, the daddy.
Karren Brady played a blinder too by the way. Just enough to make her presence known. Not too much to piss Margaret off.
Sir Alan? Och. He gets all the best lines.
Filed under: work, videos, tv, family, life, Youtube | Tags: the apprentice, Alan sugar, sir alan, Joe cornish, adam and joe, Yasmina, Colgate Girl, kate, lord alan
The Apprentice improved as a viewing experience as the season wore on but it was by no means the best. Nonetheless we had a good final (Although Rocky didn’t seem to think so.) The last pick in that horrible playground throwback at the start of the programme; he looked distinctly un-chuffed about that and never raised a smile thereafter.
It was a complicated task, creating a new chocolate brand in three days, something that even we professional marketeers would never be challenged with in real life. For much of the show Colgate Girl’s team were going to call their brand “Intimacy”, and it was going to come in three sizes; small, large and ribbed, but they saw the light and opted instead for some Faux French pish.
They were outdone in all but the taste stakes by Yasmina’s Shock and Awe brand. (It was shocking and we were awestruck by how bad the chocolate tasted; anyone for strawberry and basil?)
Did the right one win? Only Sir (sorry Lord) Alan will know. I was surprised by the outcome I have to say, but frankly I wasn’t that bothered.
Roll on next year. Apparently Margaret won’t be there as she’s gone off to finish a Phd in papyrus.
“It’s really interesting.” She unconvincingly told us.
In honour of her departure I think we need to share Joe Cornish’s outstanding tribute to her.
Filed under: big brother, business, jokes, life, Rants, the apprentice, tv, work | Tags: apprentice, sir alan
And now, the end is near and so we face the final curtain.
Regrets, we’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention.
Life as an Apprentice candidate is little to do with regret and all to do with opportunity.
I thought Paul Whitehouse’s review of Sunday night’s insight into the finalists’ psyche was remarkably close to my own opinion of the veritable tosspottery that this year’s candidates is. And yet, it is the most compelling television that this nation produces.
In effect tonight was the season closer.
It is all too clear that Clur has won. Next week is simply the crowning of the mockit monarch. Surrounded by her working class guard of honour.
The dismissal of Lucinda tonight merely proved the fact that Sir Alan is a class warrior and can’t abide posh. I have been accused through my commentary on this series of being anti-posh but this simply isn’t true. I’ve supported Lucinda throughout – she has a brain after all – but titty-boy Raef and his clueless lover Michael Sophocles gave poshness a bad name.
For posh, read dim – in their cases.
Anyway, the final four at least represents the best of a bad lot.
As discussed, Clur will win handsomely (that was irony). She proclaimed last night that she didn’t want to be a “big fat lemon” which begged the obvious question; “Well, why are you wearing a yellow top then?”
Lee can’t win because he was duped into being
a) a Pterodactyl and
b) a liar (about his education)
in last night’s interviews and is lucky still to be in it.
Helene has dragged herself out of the mire but can’t win because Sr Alan absolutely hates her.
Alex can’t win because he is a wee wankypoo.
“I’m only 24″ he keeps proclaiming. 24 what? I wonder. 24 times the national average irritation factor.
So, it’s Clur all the way for me.
Gobby, lemony, irritating bitch that she is.
We luv u Clur.
(Oh fuck. Big Brother starts tomorrow night.)
Filed under: Arts, big brother, humour, jokes, life, Rants, the apprentice, tv, work | Tags: Alan sugar, michael sophocles, sir alan
So, The Apprentice would-bes get sent on a shopping trip to a Souk.
The perfect recipe for lies and ‘espionage’.
For me the episode revolved around Jen and Michael’s total disregard for honesty and decency – a pair of lying twats quite frankly. We’ve oft discussed Jen’s bootishness in the past on this site, but her decision to engulf herself in a pink headscarve only made her look like Miss Piggy on her dabs.
Now she looks like an ex-Apprentice.
(We can put the mirrors back up in the living room again.)
Her decision to try to boycott Team Alpha’s progress by stage whispering a pathetic bribe to a local tennis stringing ace was pathetic and for that reason alone she had to go.
Michael Sophocles survived somehow, despite being a wee wank. He makes Raef (amazingly no twit ups AT ALL this week) look like a normal member of society – in fact I’m beginning to think Raef might even be a contender!
The teams were great. It really was the battle of the boots and assholes versus the normals (and Raef).
Increasingly my money is piling onto Lucinda who put in another good performance. She even let slip a wee “Och” when she slipped running across a shopping centre forecourt in a subconscious attempt to prove that she is indeed a true blue Scot.
Lee’s leadership was mainly based on different ways of exclaiming ‘Fuck!” very loudly and encouraging his team mates to join in. They did. With gusto.
The highlight of the week followed the unravelling of Michael’s pathetic attempt to ingratiate himself with Sir Alan by describing himself in his CV as a “good Jewish boy” when in reality he was only “Half Jewish” – which explained why he didn’t know what Kosher was. On hearing this Sir Alan suggesting Michael drop his pants to show if he’d circumcised his plonker.
I think he was just pulling it myself.
Oh and Jennifer got fired too. Fair enough. She was shite.