Filed under: bbc, tv | Tags: Alan sugar, in the land of the blind the one eyed man is king, Jim Eastwood. The apprentice, the apprentice
Bunch of wankers actually.
May the best one win.
My money is on wanker in chief; Jim Eastwood.
He’s a twat. But I think a clever enough one to win. And that’s kind of been my view from the off.
In the land of the blind and all that…
(Actually, I quite like him, but he is hardly popular is he).
Filed under: family, life, politics, Rants, stories | Tags: 2010, 2011, 60 watt, Arcade fire, Band of joy, Belle and Sebastian, best books 2010, best music 2010, best of 2010, best theatre 2010, canon 450D, Cee Lo Green, Courage of others, david peace, Edinburgh, electronic music, fct, german music, Hibees, Hibs, I am Kloot, iPad, John Grant, john hughes, krautrock, lyceum, lyceum theatre, madmen, Midlake, Nick Clegg, nmp, pailgap, queen of denmark, red riding, red riding quadrilogy, Robert Plant, Rumer, Scotland, St Columba's hospice, stv, the apprentice, the red riding books, The suburbs, tories, tory idiots, usability lab
Not a bad vintage actually.
Work wise I was run off my feet once again and almost literally in December which proved to be extraordinarily challenging due to the shitness of the weather and the fact that I was researching all over the country. It was a real struggle, very stressful indeed.
Some great clients which include STV, Ampersand, Corporation Pop, 60 Watt, nmp and LA Media from last year. But added a few too including Gill’s Cruise Centre, Paligap, and The Usability Lab.
My golf stank pretty much from start to finish and I had a poor Arran and a poor St Andrews. However one highlight was an Eagle 3 on the par 5 second in the club championships first round. I won that but went out in round two. However Forty years of failing to Eagle were finally over. (Tom got about 6 last year alone).
Musically it was a big return to form after very poor shows in both 2008 and 2009.
I’ve already posted my tracks of the year elsewhere which will give you an idea of my top ten albums, but for the record, these are they…
I’m New Here by Gil Scott Heron
Band of Joy by Robert Plant
The Courage of Others by Midlake
Queen of Denmark by John Grant
The Suburbs by The Arcade Fire
Sky at Night by I am Kloot
Elektonische Music Experiment – German Rock and Electronic Music 1972 – 1983
Write About Love by Belle and Sebastian
The Lady Killer by Cee Lo Green
Seasons of my Soul by Rumer
My blog had a record year, just, with 340,000 hits, up 45,000 on last year and beating 2008 by only 1,000. As a result I hit the million mark last week and raised over £1,000 for St Columba’s Hospice in the process. Thanks to all who contributed.
I did two music quizzes (one in Edinburgh and one in Manchester) for NABS and these raised £3,500
The Hibees were a farce from year start to end and our Scottish cup hopes look less plausible than for a very long time. Looks like we’ll be going at least 110 years before winning it again.
Theatre again played a big part in my year.
My role as a director of The Lyceum developed and I thought Mark Thomson had a vintage year. Every show was a hit in some form or other and the highlights for me were The Beauty Queen of Leenane, Confessions of a Justified Sinner, The Price and The Importance of Being Earnest.
FCT had another good year, my first at the helm and I’d like to thank the fab committee for their support. Two great shows in Just So and Guys and Dolls and another ENDA award. Annie’s next but no decision yet on the festival. Our away day in October was deemed a great success.
Amy started at Uni and is working hard as she has done all year at Dakota. She bought a virtually new car herself ( a Toyota Yaris) and I was really proud of her for being so focussed to be able to do this. Ria is working hard at school and did really well in her standard grades. Tom isn’t and didn’t.
Tom’s golf continued to improve and his handicap went from 11 to 7.
Sadly Jeana’s blossoming work at Suntrap came to an end when the funding was pulled. She was devastated and I suspect still is.
We holidayed in California and it was a tram smash of a holiday from start to finish, summed up by this video…
http://www.youtube.com/v/E5lc8c9EsXg?version=3&rel=1&fs=1&showsearch=0&showinfo=1&iv_load_policy=1
In books I didn’t read much. I am enjoying Freedom by Jonathon Franzen but the best of the year was the Red Riding Quadrilogy by David Peace.
fantastic series of horrific police brutality .
And my movie of the year? Well, I saw over 20 movies at the flicks this year and a lot of real quality. But I plump for The Social Network. A Prophet was great as was Monsters and The Road, but David Fincher surpassed himself with an amazing script by Aoron Sorkin.
TV show of the year? No Question. Mad Men (we’re playing catch up and only nearing end of season two but it’s fabulous).
In reality TV The Apprentice continues to kick ass.
Digital gizmo of the year? My iPad… but also my Canon 450 D. An up and down year on the camera front but happy with my lot and looking for a Canon 5D Mk 1 and a new 28mm prime lens to move on a level in 2011.
Idiot of the Year? Won hands down by Nick Clegg. Only cos he sold his soul to the devil. But he was run close by those fools that lead our government. You know who they are. Tony Blair continued to make a right fucking dick of himself and the legacy of Kenny Macaskill is not away yet with Magrahi in the rudest of health.
Sadly I lost a number of friends during the year; Myles, Kathy and Jim, I’ll miss you all. God bless and love to all of your families.
Wife of the year? Jeana Gorman. 21st year running. How can she bear it?
Put it this way. I couldn’t live with me. Still.
And so to 2011.
My hopes?
Hibees win the Scottish Cup. (That’s just stupid. Ed.)
Tom gets down to a 4 handicap.
I win something, anything, at Golf.
The kids do well at school and uni.
I am healthy throughout. (And lose rather a lot of weight.)
Both Cath and Jean stay healthy too
The credit crunch doesn’t get worse again.
Filed under: business, humour, the apprentice, work | Tags: Arjun Rajyagor, Jumior apprentice, sir alan, the apprentice, you're fired
Bless.
And so, the all too brief but wondrous, Junior Apprentice comes to an end with unquestionably the most likaeable Apprentice winner ever in Arjun Rayjagor.
Charming, articulate, willing, creative and…god…so polite.
I would hire this young man in the blink of an eye.
The rest were the usual hotch potch of wannabees and prats. But somehow, Junior Apprentice captured the human condition a little more sweetly, a little more believably than its daddy.
It was, in fact, the daddy.
Karren Brady played a blinder too by the way. Just enough to make her presence known. Not too much to piss Margaret off.
Nick Rocked.
Sir Alan? Och. He gets all the best lines.
Filed under: business, humour, videos, work, Youtube | Tags: Alan sugar, apprentice, mash up, sir alan sugar, the apprentice
Cassetteboy’s irreverant mashup of The Apprentice from day one till now.
Oooh Sir (Lord) Alan you are so cheeky.
You’ll enjoy this if you’re an Apprentice fan.
]
Filed under: family, life, tv, videos, work, Youtube | Tags: adam and joe, Alan sugar, Colgate Girl, Joe cornish, kate, lord alan, sir alan, the apprentice, Yasmina
The Apprentice improved as a viewing experience as the season wore on but it was by no means the best. Nonetheless we had a good final (Although Rocky didn’t seem to think so.) The last pick in that horrible playground throwback at the start of the programme; he looked distinctly un-chuffed about that and never raised a smile thereafter.
It was a complicated task, creating a new chocolate brand in three days, something that even we professional marketeers would never be challenged with in real life. For much of the show Colgate Girl’s team were going to call their brand “Intimacy”, and it was going to come in three sizes; small, large and ribbed, but they saw the light and opted instead for some Faux French pish.
They were outdone in all but the taste stakes by Yasmina’s Shock and Awe brand. (It was shocking and we were awestruck by how bad the chocolate tasted; anyone for strawberry and basil?)
Did the right one win? Only Sir (sorry Lord) Alan will know. I was surprised by the outcome I have to say, but frankly I wasn’t that bothered.
Roll on next year. Apparently Margaret won’t be there as she’s gone off to finish a Phd in papyrus.
“It’s really interesting.” She unconvincingly told us.
In honour of her departure I think we need to share Joe Cornish’s outstanding tribute to her.
Filed under: family, the apprentice, tv | Tags: Howard Ebison, the apprentice
So Howard Ebison predictably bit the dust.
I say predictably because that’s what this series is. There’s just no real drama. There’s nobody I particularly like or dislike. Howard was just getting gradually sidelined and was likely to go fairly soon. And the task was really pretty dull. In actual fact there was no strong case for any of the losing team to be ousted more than the other. Yawn.
For what it’s worth, my money’s on Lorraine. Debra’s too gobby and Kate’s just not cutting it. James could sneak through on the ‘whatever’ ticket.
In an unremarkable first episode we learned that men can’t wash cars and women can’t help spending money. Life changing huh?
But we were all in agreement that thank fuck ET got the finger!
Filed under: Arts, big brother, business, humour, jokes, life, Rants, stories, the apprentice, tv, work | Tags: Alan sugar, being posh, raef, sir alan, the apprentice, the apprentice week 4, titface, you're fired
Tittyboy Raef kept his profile well below the radar (Yah) until the final seconds this week, when he blew it by being spotted wearing a preposterous pink skinny rib v-neck that only posh folk would be seen dead in as the house awaited the survivors of the eviction coming back.
Clearly Simon (nice but nasty) found himself well out of his depth – surrounded on one side by the barking Doberman that is Claire (by the way what is the difference between a Doberman and a woman with PMT? You can reason with a Doberman) and on the other by ‘butter wouldn’t melt in my handsome blue eyed mouth’ Alex who totally shafted him from the start.
Claire annoyed Sir Alan so much that I sympathised with him. She is a gobby boot. See you as you get fired next week Claire.
Filed under: business, humour, jokes, life, Rants, stories, the apprentice, tv | Tags: adrian chiles, Alan sugar, being a dad, child support, fatherhood, ian stringer, looking after your kids, parenting, reality, reality tv, respect, support, the apprentice, you're fired
Ian Stringer was rightly fired.
He was inept. Handsome, perhaps, but inept.
But on this occassion it wasn’t so much the main Apprentice programme that horrified us in Gorman Heights, it was the follow up show hosted by Adrian Chiles which , in some ways, almost exceeds the wonderment of its parent. Which leads me to my main conclusion from this week’s show
It stemmed from what at first seemed like a perfectly innocent question.
Ian Stringer’s Dad was asked by Childsey.
“Did he let you down dad?” in a jocular Black Country fashion only for Stringer’s Dad to stun both me and Jeana with his emphatic answer.
“Yes.”
Accompanied by a slightly evil looking toothy, smarmy grin.
What I say to that is that Mr Stringer Senior is a disgrace to his son and I think we should leave this week’s Apprentice review at that
Poor show Dad. Very poor show.
(Other than to say that Raef continues to blind us with inanity.
Anyone who says they will give “110%” is in my book a poor arithmetical judge. Or, simply a fool.)
Filed under: humour, jokes, life, Rants, Scotland, stories | Tags: Alan sugar, Amstrad, apprentice, the apprentice
Gee whizz. Cor blimey. Luvaduck.
C’mon Sir Alan get your head in gear. You made a bad, nae awful, decision firing Shazia tonight.
It was obviously a wierdo week in Sir Alan’s office because he had a pure moment of madness getting shot of Shazia.
The material he had to dispose of (in the form of the girly team leader) was remarkable. It was a bounty of embarrassments, led principally by team leader, Jenny.
Jenny was one of the classic asswipes in the history of “Apprentice” team leadership – aggressive, monstrous, unthoughtful, bitchy, unhelpful, vindictive, poisonous, thoughtless, hideous, defamatory.
Actually, now that I think about it, I quite liked her.
Except that she often looks like a bulldog licking piss off a netle and she was a total cow to her team – especially the hapless Jock blonde – Lucinda – she’ll be gone soon too.
However, let us not deflect our attention from king wank; Raef.
He is a cock.
He started this week’s episode by saying
“Oh Fock, I’ve facked my tosk.”
Or some other such twittishness.
Let’s not forget that first and foremost, this is a class war and the toffs will lose.
My money at present is on Simon.
My favourite bit of the whole show was Sir Alan giving the Burds pure hell for setting up a 24 hr laundry hotline.
Why?
“To see if the skid marks were out of my boxers yet?” He asked. (Kinda.)
Oh, it’s great.
Filed under: business, family, humour, jokes, life, Rants, Scotland, the apprentice, tv, work | Tags: Alan sugar, apprentice, apprentices, britishness, fired, sir alan sugar, the apprentice, the class system, you're fired
What a laugh we had last night. The Mrs , myself and Ria. The Apprenice is, in so many ways, the greatest thing on British TV.
It’s about class first and foremost – and anyone who enjoys the programme and disagrees is kidding themselves.
It’s about emotion.
It’s certainly funny.
It’s about arrogence.
It’s about banal stupidity and therefore viewer superiority.
It’s about good versus evil.
It’s about double guessing Sir Alan.
It’s about Margaret and Nick.
It’s about life.
It is life affirming.
Oh, I love it so much. It makes me laugh so much I could cry.
But last night (week one) it was most certainly about class. Working class hero Alex, and team leader, versus a couple of fucking toffs. (You can probably see where I’m coming from on this one).
The Apprentice, is visceral television. One (you) has (have) to scream at the screen because the antics are so outstanding.
So, surprise, surprise I was shouting for the adequate Northern (and educated) team leader in favour of the useless twat (and educated), toff pricks, who let their team down.
Nicholas Delancey- Brown and Raef Byanyu to be precise.
Can you really, honestly see Raef Byanyu on the shop floor with Sir Alan. No, don’t be bloody ridiculous. He is a twit. A big bally twit. Twitty twit, twit, that’s what I bally say!
And as for Nick Delancy whatsisname, he’s back to Arsingale-on-Bandit on the first ruddy limo that he could find.
Being superiorly inferior.
See ya. Woudnae wanna be ya!
