While I was a regular visitor to St Columba’s Hospice seeing my Dad I posted this.

“If I had some eggs, we could have ham and eggs; if I had some ham.” my Uncle Christopher declared this afternoon.

Wise words.

But my mother violently disagreed with this because she retorted

“If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham; if we had some ham.”

Not sure about that. In fact it’s total bollocks – because what she really meant to say, and did, was…

“If we had ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had eggs.”

You know what…

…I don’t give a monkey’s uncle!

My first draft said “I don’t give a flying fuck” but I thought I should be more thoughtful and sensitive than that.

Anyway, the way tinternet works it has become a strangely popular post, having been read 500 or so times by people googling this lame image, which was the image I nicked to put in the original post. Strange .