I noticed in my bank statement yesterday that two payments for £41.16 had been paid to Tesco on the same day. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to establish that something was wrong so I phoned my Bank, Lloyds TSB who swiftly washed their hands of it and pointed me in the direction of Tesco.
Never mind, I thought, Tesco’s legendary approach to customer service. Every little helping and all that, will sort this out quicker than you can say “It’s not my fault.”
Call 1 To Tesco.com. “What’s the store code on the statement?” I was asked. I told them and they washed their hands of it. “Not our problem sir, that’s A Tesco Direct store code. Here’s the number.”
Call 2 To Tesco Direct. “Sorry Sir that’s not our code. You’ll need to call Tesco Stores.”
Call 3 To Tesco Stores. After the phone rang out for 20 minutes I hung up.
Call 4 To Tesco Stores. Got through this time . Again refusal to acknowledge the store code and a grudging acceptance that they should establish exactly what store code 3538 really is. After holding for 5 minutes as “the computers are running slow and I have to search all our store codes in the UK” I had to hang up as I was running late for a meeting.
Call 5 Spoke to a nice guy in Wales who asked me “What’s Occurin’?” (nah I made that bit up. He actually tried to resolve the issue and said he’d call me back in 5 minutes.
Call 6 Nice guy proclaimed triumphantly that he’d sorted it. “It’s Tesco Wines!” he exclaimed with glee. “I’ve never used Tesco Wines.” I told him. “ah… Well I’ll put you through to Tesco Wine and they’ll sort it for you.”
Call 7 After a five minute wait I was put through to Tesco Wine. “Don’t know what he’s talkin’ about.” said Tesco Wines guy “That isn’t our code. But you’ve come to the right place. We’ll sort it out for you. I’ll call you back in 5 minutes.”
Call 8 Twenty minutes later. “We haven’t sorted it out sir but we will. I promise you. I’ll call you back later. We’re too busy just now…”
Call 9 Well, actually there was no call nine because the Tesco Wine guy was just too busy, after all I’m just a pesky customer, and a complaining one at that.
Call 10 Imagine my surprise when the comment below appeared on my blog. Someone at Tesco Dundee had obviously read my blog and felt a need to do something about it and asked me to call her the next day. So I did. She was in a meeting.
Call 11 The lovely lady, Helen from Dundee, called me back six hours later and promised to sort it all out within minutes, took my details and said she’d call me back. She was astonished that the staff didn’t know what code 3538 was.
Call 12 She did. Soon thereafter. Only to tell me that I was indeed correct and that in fact my card had been “compromised” ie some sneaky cyber thief had nicked it and was ordering as much as he/she/it could get its hands on as quickly as inhumanly possible. In fact a further four transactions were in the pipeline for £160 or so.
Call 13 To Lloyds TSB to report the fraud. That led to
Call 14 to Lloyds TSB’s Credit Card division. Where they told me I should be speaking to the Debit card division via
Call 15 To Lloyds TSB’s Debit Card division who passed me onto
Call 16 Another snipey bloke in their debit Card Division who said he’d “send me a form.”
Why can’t they all be like wee Helen from Dundee?