My theatricalness


I never got back to you about the show we did on Saturday night did I?

Well, the first and most amazing thing was, come the time, I was quite calm. However, as the hall filled and the tension mounted we realised that the thermostat was set at 30 degrees and over 100 people were in a small space. Consequently it was hot. Really hot. Really, really hot. Sweaty hot.

Nonetheless, I managed all of my duties, including the rendition of a newly composed Trinity ghost story. I’m pleased to report that the jump at the end was carefully orchestrated so that the older members of the audience failed to have heart failure and the youngers succeeded in emptying their bowels.


Santa Clause


Great programme on the telly last night  which followed the exploits of a self confessed mega geek who had, despite his relative youth, clocked up ten years as Santa at House of Fraser in Glasgow.  The prime Scottish Santa gig.

The best part of the programme was when he recalled a young kid asking for a pager AND a mobile phone for Christmas and Santa enquiring if the brat in question was actually the Chairman of ICI.

Snailbooty’s female ventriloquists

Snailbooty is one of my favourite photographers on Flickr and this is something he found in an old book. It’s a page of way too freaky female ventriloquists. To view them properly, and I promise you it’s worth it, you ‘ll have to click through to the shot on Flickr and then on the link below it you’ll get a better and larger view.

It’s wild man… You could then lose yourself in Snailbooty’s site for hours. It’s the most original I have ever seen.

Girl Vent Press Shots

Originally uploaded by snailbooty.

my christmas is complete


My mate Ian just sent me the most stunning, Christmas gift.  It’s a DVD of What a Carve Up.  A 60’s film starring Sid James and Kenneth Connor.  I’ve never seen it.  It may be shite.  But the point is, it’s the centre of Jonathan Coe’s astounding novel of the same name.

I am reeling with amazement.

My next appearance…


I will be performing on Saturday night at 7.30 in the Forth Adults Theatre Christmas fundraising show which promises to be a right good Christmas heart warmer.  It’s at Holy Cross Church Hall in Bangholm Loan, but if you want tickets best make contact before the night as it will sell out.

My fellow uber-talents will be singing a range of Christmas crackers, but singing solo scares me too much so, perhaps appropriately I’ve decided to scare the audience in a different way. So I shall be debuting a freaky ghost story that is a real chiller.

I’m shitting myself just thinking about it.