Not from Amsterdam.

Not from Amsterdam.

Originally uploaded by jimbodownie.

You’ve got to love this shot by Jimbo. Class.

11 thoughts on “Not from Amsterdam.

  1. This man was famous the world over for the Tulips that he grew. People used to come from all over just to admire them and to try and get the secret of how he grew them from him. He was very cagey and would say, “I just put the bulbs in and they come up like that all perfect.”

    Of course no one believed him, but no matter what ploy was used. no one could discover just what it was that turned ordinary bulbs into the most beautiful Tulip Blooms that anyone had ever grown. Whole fields of them identical and all perfect.

    Well he had this friend (we all know friends like this one), who had decided that he would get the secret and make some money on the side. He got the Tulip Grower drunk on Home Made Wine and gradually turned the conversation around to Tulip Growing. You will know how trusting you are when you are drunk and the Tulip Grower was no exception!

    He gradually relaxed and to the direct question, “How do you do it?” He replied… “I use Hamsters!” The Cunning Friend said, “Don’t be daft, how can Hamsters make Ordinary Tulip Bulbs produce blooms like you can?”

    The Tulip Grower said, On my other property I breed Hamsters – not just a few, but thousands. When they are adults I run over them with a steam roller and crush them into pulp. I then bulldoze the pulp into a machine which cans them into 7lb jam tins which I store in a big warehouse. At the start of the growing season I go out at night with lorry loads of the tins and open them and spread them all over the fields, I then get a tractor and plough and I plough it all into the ground and then the next day I plant the Tulip Bulbs and you have seen for yourself the results.”

    His friend said, “Well I suppose it works, but I don’t see how!”

    The Tulip Grower said, “Obvious, isn’t it? I copied the idea from the Dutch, they are Tulips from Hamster Jam!”



    • I noticed how active you have been today, stuck as I am, in the house all day in this shitty weather with an under the shitty weather kid whilst Mum is oot randanning.
      The Man U v. Arsenal game on channel 993 has lost its appeal as Utd coast.

      I’ve been anticipating your agog post about the privatisation of the NHS but it has yet to materialise.



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