Get ahead. Get a hat. At Liz Duthie’s wedding.

This was the most drunken wedding in history.  We were at a free bar (as was the best man) for about 4 hours before we sat down to dinner.

The best man was so pissed that he lost all of his speech notes.  Which was just as well as he could barely speak.


Anyway, this wedding hat wasn’t too great on Jeana, looking back…

But it was even worse on Broony…

And “Tiger Townsley” clearly wasn’t too impressed when I had a shot.

Easy Tiger

Mike Donoghue

I will never, ever forget the night Mikey boy came to visit us in Royston Terrace just after we’d had Amy.  All was going swimmingly until Jeana said “i have to feed the baby.”

Well, you’ve never seen anyone move so fast.  Like a shot Mike was out of the room, in fact out of the flat at the top of the stairs, drawing heavily on a newly lit fag.

“Mark you know I love tits.  I’m a huge fan.  I could look at them for hours. But I couldnae bear to see my mate’s wife’s tits while she’s feeding the bairn.  So, I had to leave it would have been so embarrassing if I accidentally caught a sneak peek”

I paraphrase of course.

But what a gentleman.

(He was only saying what we all think though.)

So, Mike, after all these years, this is what you were missing.

The thirds law

The thirds law is one of the fundamental principals of photographic composition.  This piece of total jobby demonstrates it to perfection.

It is a master class of August Sander proportions composed by my dear wife to show not only the main protagonist of an event,  (her cousins dancing in the background) with her sister in law and husband beautifully framing the main focal point in the foreground; all in perfect thirds..

piece 'ae shit!

And she married me?

I have been striking this ridiculous pose for at least 20 years as this photo testifies.

Shot outside The Europa Hotel (the most bombed hotel in Europe) in about 1988.

The equally unattractive human being in the photo beside me is Damian McElholm. A keen country pursuits hobbyist.

He’s famous for replying to Gerry Farrell when he was asked what the shooting was like around here (Belfast, at the back end of “The Troubles”) replied “accurate.”

Fuck sake