gibberish


My Teenage crime years

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I might as well come clean before it’s too late.

My teenage years were riddled with crime.  Perhaps not of gangster proportions but my array of crimes included these sorry episodes;

  • I was directed by police to dismount from my unlit bicycle after a 12 pint three-legged fancy dress pub crawl dressed as the back to front man.  Having staggered round the corner I remounted said vehicle only to fall off it on a steep descent and broke my wrist.  Crime and punishment could rarely have been so closely enmeshed with one another.
  • I spent a night at the University of Stirling’s Student Union dressed in a very large Army great coat.  On exiting with a stash of 24 pint glasses hidden up the sleeves of said oversized garment I let one of them slip just as I passed the ‘bouncers’.  My haul was revealed in all its glory.  Again Crime and Punishment went hand in slippery hand.
  • My release of a giant sized bar of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk from the tyranny of life on a Woolworth’s shelf, unaided by a visit to the till area, met with the strong arm of the security man who let me go only on the promise that I’d ‘fess up to my parents.  This I did with the inevitable consequences which was maybe just as well as he called the house later that night to check if I’d turned self stool pigeon.  Small crime, significant punishment.
  • And yes, illicit drug use.  I confess I smoked cinnamon sticks.  Undetected.

It runs in the family because my father, as a youth, not only stole apples but mounted the fence of the Bon Accord Carbonated Drinks Factory at the place where returnable glass soda siphons were stacked.  He and his pals smashed dozens of them in a vain attempt to extract the glass ‘straw’ that sat inside.  (It would have made a great peashooter.)

It was only later, after many pounds of damage, that he realised he could have stolen just one of them, taken it to the local store and claimed a deposit refund with which he could have bought the shop out of ten-a-penny pea shooters.

I mention all this as preamble to a teenage crime of a highly laudable nature.

I can only tip my chapeau to this bunch of highly creative villains in total respect.

A group of five French teenagers went looking for fun after a night on the town.

In the early hours of yesterday morning they released a Llama from a visiting circus and took it on a tram ride of their city.

Simple, elegant, hilarious.

Release the Llama Five immediately.

 


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