Definition: A place between Heaven and Hell, where the soul is not bad enough to be sent to an eternity of damnation in Hell, but not good enough to go to Heaven, so it is sent there temporarily where the person suffers, and is purified so that it can be sent to Heaven.
My definition: In my childhood I thought purgatory was actually a kind of Guantanamo Bay where we were all held in a pending area before deciding who went upstairs and who went down. Of course the good guys (i.e me) knew it was inevitable that the green light was waiting and the bad guys (i.e. Charlie White the wee shite with ginger hair and a childhood phd in sad masochism were destined for red and the fiery furnace.)
Why the laborious and tortuous metaphorical introduction? Well it’s important that my skewed take on purgatory is understood before I reveal my brilliant analogy in full.
And it is this.
Sturgeon, Miliband, Cameron, Clegg and Farage are sitting in that purgatory RIGHT NOW. Have been for weeks and I can exclusively reveal the outcome.
Of one thing there is no doubt. Quick decision time. One of them has his name in RED lights.
The other absolute certainty is a yellow tinted Nirvana for St Nicola of Irvine.
But what of the three amigos, the erstwhile jokers. The clowns that may not have MEANT to be bad boys, but just were?
Their outcome is far less clear.
On that front there can only be one way to decide.
Stay where you are boys while we go ask St Nicola of Irvine.
She’ll decide your fate.