There are ways to beat the system. this is a great one.

I’m grateful to Pat Rodger for sending me this little peach.

From the Townsville Bulletin (on Australia’s Gold Coast)

George Phillips was going up to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go to turn off the light but saw from the porch that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police and explained what was happening; the controller asked

‘Is someone in your house?’

‘No’ he replied.

The response was that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, ‘Okay,’ hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

‘Hello’ he said ‘I just called you a minute ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I’ve just shot them.’ Then he hung up.

Within four minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips’ residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George: ‘I thought you said that you’d shot them!’

To which George replied, ‘I thought you said there was nobody available!’

What Wallaby?

My brother in law, Nik, who celebrated his 97th birthday tonight told me about a friend of his who was on a bus in Fife recently. As they passed through Lochaber he overheard an Australian tourist proclaim in disbelief.

“Struth! There’s a wallaby. I thought they were only found in Oz mate.”

His Fifey escort dryly retorted

“It’s no a fuckin’ wallaby, it’s a greyhoond daein a shite.”