Gentlemen. How’s your waltz technique?


I laughed out loud this morning when Shaun Keaveny, on BBC 6 Music’s breakfast radio show, described his dancing the waltz as resembling a woman shifting a wardrobe.

I struck a chord with me.

I couldn’t find the perfect illustration of this so this will have to do.

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My attempt at a waltz with an unnamed lady.

In comparison, my tap dancing is like watching an excited puppy seek attention in a roomful of crushed tin cans.

So. Who is South Queensferry’s greatest male dancer? Yes that’s right…


…Me.  (And Pete the Meat).

We tied in a prestigious dancing competition last night.  Our duet to ‘I’ve got a feelin’ by The Peas clearly sent the judges into a paroxysm of orgiastic delight.

Knickers were actually wet.  I tell you.

Pete and I were like the Fonteyn and Nuryev of the Noughties.

Michael Jackson would have immediately signed us up as backing dancers.

In a word we were… STRICTLY.

(Quite honestly folks, you missed yourselves)