Alien Covenant: Movie Review.



In which a young Michael Fassbender utters the immortal line to his older brother, also played by Michael Fassbender, as he teaches him how to play a penny whistle, “I’ll do the fingering.”


Stop right there.

That was silly right?

Alien:Covenant is Ridley Scott being let loose on his wildest fantasies and this time it’s almost all about religion.  He’s apparently in thrall with the notion that Aliens are gods or some such claptrap.

The name of the ship is ‘Covenant’, the name of the ‘Synthetic’ that was on Prometheus but has met its fate and who forms a big part of this movie’s plotline was David (Michael Fassbender) and David has lured his ten year the junior ‘brother’ Walter (also Fassbender) to Prometheus and to seek the fate of the 2,000 ‘covenanters’ on board ship.

Although Walter is a more advanced model he is more deeply flawed and has had his emotional intelligence reduced as it became apparent that David was too advanced.

Meanwhile, because this is 2017 rather than 1979 special effects, we get to see much more Alien action, which is in itself good (and creepy) but it’s OTT and the Aliens as organisms appear less developed because, remember, this is a prequel to Alien and in the time between the two movies the Aliens have evolved.

It starts great (but slow) the sets are miraculous and the acting largely decent (Katherine Waterston as Daniels is commendable) but the religious theme becomes more and more overbearing and the relationship between Fassbender and Fassbender is preposterous (although well acted).

Although the SFX are great they are just too much and the whole movie descends into a disappointing silly pet project that needs much more script supervision.

Not great I’m afraid.




Lady Macbeth: Film review.


I’m not familiar with the Lady Macbeth of Mtsensk short story by Nikolai Neskov (not to be confused with Lady Macbeth by William Shakespeare) which he wrote as a novella in 1865, although it is inspired by the famous play.

The book inspired Shostakovich to write an opera based on it.

Now we have a British film that feels incredibly French (incredibly Michael Haneke, who I think is actually Austrian) to add to its cannon.

It features a career defining performance by Florence Pugh in the title role; although the men are magnificent too (most notably Christopher fairbanks as the intolerant Father in Law).

If you like Christopher Fairbanks through his Guardians of the Galaxy fame this is not the movie for you as it moves at glacial pace with very little dialogue, virtually no music and a LOT of fixed frames where you are invited to enjoy the cinematography in its most bleak and spartan Northernness.

“It’s grim up north” might have been the poster slogan for this movie because, set as it is near the North East of England’s colliery land, albeit on the moors (North Yorkshire I’d suggest), it is most certainly grim.

The story is murderously grim too and I’d expect this BBC Films production to be in the running when next year’s BAFTA’s are handed out with Florence Pugh a shoe in for best female actor.

Slow but sublime with excellent direction from William Oldroyd.

The Emmanuel Macron phenomenon.


Me neither.

Never heard of him

But thank the Lord that Emmanuel Macron exists and looks likely to hole the fascist Le Pen, assuming France gathers its skirts effectively and closes ranks on her.

Meanwhile. in what used to be known as ‘Great” Britain before our Fascist Groove Thing, The Daily Mail fascistas are pouring scorn over his credibility because he has – GASP – an older wife.

Turns out he fell in love with his school teacher and married young to a lady 25 years his senior.

Here they are.



They look like a lovely 20 year married couple to me.  they’re holding hands for a start.

But not if you work for the Daily Mail.

(How do you sleep at night working as a journalist for The Daily Mail?  What must the Christmas party be like?  How could you?)

It’s an abomination of a medium.

Why, if I was English, I’d vote Labour.


Jeremy Corbyn is a beautifully stuck record.

His groove is about loving people and their predicaments.

I’m fortunate.  I have none (predicaments – for now).

Theresa May is a horrible devious monster who only wants to do well for her people.

The rich.

So I should vote for her. (I’m not rich but I am not poor.)

Fuck that.

Why would you vote for a horrible devious monster?

In Scotland we are OK.; we have the SNP.

A proper Social Democrat party.  So we don’t need Jeremy.

You English, need to vote for humans, not monsters.

But why?

To rid the world of this scabrous monstrosity that is the Tory party.