gibberish


tom’s new pal
December 26, 2009, 4:08 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized


toms new pal


My First video on my new toy a Flip HD camaera.

Originally uploaded by mark gorman



John Hughes

And so, we approach Christmas.

Hibs sit within touching distance of the top of the league.  Of course all will be nought should the Huns take the spoils on the 27th - but the fact remains that John Hughes has made a transformation at Easter Road.  The big difference is not losing to the likes of Hamilton (apart from Hamilton) having raised our game the week before against the Old Firm and Hearts (we lost to Celtic and only drew with Rangers and Hearts).

Hibs aren’t even playing that well.  But what we are witnessing is a remarkable manager in his element. 

Why is he remarkable?  Because he has done what others couldn’t; strung results together, brought the changinmg room together, got great performances out of mercurial talent (Zemmama specifically) and made good signings (Stack, Millar and Stokes).

He has a good team, which is astonishing in itself given the transfer activity at the slope, but needs must and Petrie has done a great job in steadying the ship and now, hopefully, the club will continue to invest sensibly on the pitch (see Stokes for evidence).

I am, once again, proud to be a Hibby (I always was actually) and look forward to the second part of the season with anticipation.

OK, the league and cup double may only be a dream, but it is NOT an impossibility.

Thank you John Hughes.  You are a magician and everyone who follows Hibs owes you a great deal.



Teens and tiaras

Actually. She was Ok.

Jeana and I watched this absurd celebration of Britain’s upper classes wherein two toff bitches taught a bunch of mostly toff, but some merely bewildered snobs, how to get married to rich, landed wanks.

It was pure magic.

The toff bitches (Jennie and Patricia) were the best double act since Morecombe and Wise.  Trouble is, they were deadly serious.

Someone was actually called Araminta.  Araminta?  Arabloodyminta!  What sort of a name is that?

There were more double barrels than the Olympic shooting qualifiers.

Twat after twat moment cascaded from our screens; arsehole after arsehole.  But mainly Pat and Jen. (They must be quietly seething that Mater and pater didn’t name them Arabella and Helena, so they could hold their heads higher amongst their so distinguished prodigies.)

It was a potpourri of upper class absurdity.

Sweetly, one of them was shy.  Shy?  She was totally overwhelmed by the pressure of having to be an international symbol of toffness and didn’t want to do it.

We met the Queen of Macedonia.  An ugly English ex-debutante.  The king sensibly declined.

We might as well have met the queen of fucking la la land.

Not only did the programme position the upper classes as tossers (in extremis) but the poor wee lassies who were being set up as debutante toff whores were actually aware of it and somewhat defensive.

I almost felt sorry for the poor rich bitches.



The mighty cabbage

I am told very few teams have had a double hit in the Soccer AM Crossbar Challenge.  But then, very few teams are Hibernian FC.

Hearts may have had the opportunity, but they’ve all been suspended.



I used this clip in a very important awayday with a plc today.
December 15, 2009, 11:37 pm
Filed under: Youtube, humour, jokes, life, tv | Tags: , , ,

It worked.



Had this have come out a little earlier…
December 15, 2009, 11:31 pm
Filed under: Arts, life, music | Tags:

…I suspect it would have made my album of the year.  I suppose it still could if I did a 2009.2.0

It’s a lament to the death of Elizabeth Fraser’s friend and her first release in many years.  She appears to have lost her nerve on stage and on vinyl but it is a lovely thing.



Goal of the season. Miguel Figueroa. Wigan v Stoke
December 13, 2009, 7:10 pm
Filed under: football, sports | Tags: , ,



BBC at it again

You know my feelings about the BBC.  They are the world’s greatest broadcaster, BUT, they know it and they abuse their power.  Why oh why should they be allowed to spend licence fee payers’ money on commercial advertising for instance (eg The Chris Moyles Show) instead of spending it on programmes.

So, now they are getting TOO successful on digital.  What’s the solution?

I’ll tell you what.  Cut the one fucking station that I love.  Yes BBC 6 is purported to be for the chop (allegedly).  It’s subject to the findings of a BBC Trust review early next year.

Great.  That’s covered by other channels they say.  Which channels exactly. Radio 2?  Don’t make me laugh.

BBC 6 is the absolute bastion of contemporary music quality.  Brilliant presenters who love music (often performing it themselves) playing music that people who love music love.

You know what.

It stinks.

Radio 1 now, that’s irreplaceable isn’t it.  After all nothing on earth compares to Chris Moyles and Scott Mills.  Those bastions of broadcasting brilliance.

Get a grip BBC.  Use your brains for once.  Now that we have classic FM, do we need BBC3?  Now that there are a million popular music stations do we need Radio 1?



John Hegarty – a proper legend

In my business development role at STV I have had the pleasure this year of putting on events with Trevor Beattie of BMB, Mark Waites of Mother and now Sir John Hegarty, founder and creative director of BBH and the nearest you can come to a living legend in our industry.

He was spellbinding and bewitching.

So, so relevant.  And a perfect gentleman.  Not for him a trawl through the old BBH ads (of which there are dozens of gems to showcase); no,  he talked a lot about the digital world (and how it fits so well with TV which remains at the heart of any really succesful brand campaign) and the opportunities it held in the midst of a deep recession where the guard could easily change fundamentally.

He waxed lyrical about X factor and the renewed vigour of ITV (and STV) as a vibrant and exciting audience builder.

It reminded us that this is not a bad time to be in advertising and that we just need to remain in touch with the media landscape and prepared to harness new technologies not be afraid of them.

After all when Guttenberg reinvented bookmaking in the 15th century what was the first book he printed?

The bible!



Not for real but almost
December 12, 2009, 11:42 am
Filed under: Arts, advertising, humour, jokes, life | Tags: , , ,



I like this photo I took last weekend.
December 6, 2009, 4:30 pm
Filed under: photography | Tags: , , ,



Och. we love her
December 6, 2009, 12:15 am
Filed under: tv | Tags: ,

Joe will win.  But bless…

Her performance of "somewhere" was awesome.



The Best of the noughties

I struggled to do this I have to confess. It was a real killer to get it down to size.  So much to leave out.  My long list was 71 songs.  Anyway, here it is (if you can read it)…

But I persevered and ended up with this.  My absolute favourite songs of the noughties.  Again, I will send you a copy if you want it.

What surprised me when I finally got it down to size was how few female singer songwriters made it to the final list.



The best of 2009

OK.  It’s good to go.

Anyone wanting a copy of my best of 2009 CD let me know.  Here’s how it shapes up.

Eagle eyed observers will immediately spot that there is a very high presence from the hip hop and R and B world which, I have to say, has somewhat taken me by surprise.  But, hey, they’re all there on merit.  In fact, by my standards it’s almost mainstream.

The two stand outs for me are Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys which blew me away when I first heard it and Melody Gardot’s sublime My One and Only Thrill which I will, in fact, be performing on December the 19th.

Enjoy.



Lucky lucky Engerland
December 5, 2009, 10:10 am
Filed under: Scotland, football, humour, jokes, life, sports, stories

This time…

Last time…

Had Scotland have qualified it would have been more like this…



Separated at birth?
December 5, 2009, 9:43 am
Filed under: humour, jokes, life, photography, sports | Tags: ,

Fabio Capello, Football manager

Freddie Roach, Boxing trainer



crass
December 5, 2009, 9:33 am
Filed under: Rants, advertising | Tags: , , ,

It’s incredible how Ryanair lack taste.  Everything.  Absolutely everything, about this ad is crap.



Manger Chic
December 5, 2009, 9:27 am
Filed under: Rants, humour, jokes, life, stories | Tags: , , ,

I had to laugh at the story I just read about push parents spending up to £150 to make their kids the best turned out in School nativity plays.  Apparently parents feel their kids have to learn to excel at everything froman early age.



Paranormal activity
November 29, 2009, 4:06 pm
Filed under: Arts, movies, stories | Tags: ,

OK.  A lot has been said about how terrifying this movie is.  In truth it is a little slow and does have a number of really scary bits.  But it is blown out of proportion.  I would tell you more but don’t want to spoil it.  I took Amy and Ria and they were both pretty freaked out and hanging onto me for dear life but it’s not half as scary as Drag Me to Hell.

The lack of ANY credits whatsoever is brilliant though.  And very unnerving.

Despite the lack of truly scariness I thought it was a very interesting and original movie and brilliantly acted and cast.  These were, like, real people (gasp).

I’d recommend it despite those reservation.  7/10.



So Ali Al Megrahi was so ill he had to be shown mercy?

Ali Al Megrahi RIP. Eh, actually, no. Not yet. (Not for a long fucking time. Ed)

As we enter the season of Advent spare a moment for the poor dying mass murderer whom Scotland had to show mercy to (unlike he did for his 300 odd victims).  He was due to die, at the very latest, a week ago.

He’s still working though.

Hmm?  Yet more fucking political lies, cheating and treating the public like fucking idiots.  You must have dinner with Tony Bliar soon Mr McCaskill and have a right wee laugh about how easy it is to pull the wool over our eyes.



Bohemian Rhapsody in HD by The Muppets.
November 29, 2009, 3:45 pm
Filed under: Arts, Youtube, humour, jokes, life, music, tv | Tags: , ,

Must watch…



I’m not really a rugby fan but…

OMG.

I just watched the Scotland v Australia rugby match in a state of suspended animation.  It was as one-sided a sports event as I have ever seen and yet the team doing all the work lost.

Scotland rode their luck like Mick Kinane on Sea The Stars.  But the effort, commitment and resolution was unforgettable and unbelieveable.  The stats were hilariously in Australia’s favour but Matt Giteau’s kicking was lamentable.  Two tries written off also helped our cause.  But really, it was great TV and a great David v Goliath happening.

Huge credit has to be given to our new English Coach, Andy Robinson.  And, of course, Scotland’s backs.

Quality.



The hand of Gaul?
November 19, 2009, 10:42 pm
Filed under: Rants, football, jokes, politics, sports | Tags: , , , , ,

I respect Henri’s frankness.

What disgusts me is FIFA’s predictable support for the big ticket frenchies.

You know what they are?

Gutless.

At least Henry isn't gutless



The rain in the North west of Britain
November 19, 2009, 10:33 pm
Filed under: Rants, Scotland, politics, stories, tv | Tags:

I feel sorry for Northumberland and the flooding they are currently experiencing; but for the ITV news tonight to describe the flooding as being in the NW of Britain is to take Englkish imperialism to its typical expremes.

FUCK OFF.

Northumberland is in the NW of England.OK?



Mr Burns is the new president of Europe
November 19, 2009, 10:25 pm
Filed under: jokes, life, politics | Tags: , , ,

Separated at birth?  Well spotted Jeana.

Mr Burns

Herman Van Rompuy



the feel bad movie of the year? I simply cannot wait.
November 19, 2009, 9:49 pm
Filed under: Arts, books, life, movies | Tags: , ,

Cheer up son. It's not the bloody end of the world. Is it?

I am a massive fan of Cormac McCarthy’s The Road (and while you’re at it “No Country for Old Men” is a beast too).

Anyway the movie of the book opens on Jan 8 here in the UK.

Here’s an early (fairly mean)review from NYC. It currently 8.4’s on IMDB.

Doomsday sagas have never been far from our collective American imagination, but they’ve rarely been closer. The end-of-the-world cult of 2012 (Mayan calendar, solar neutrinos, bad vibes from the planet “Nibiru,” etc.) will only fatten its membership in the wake of the idiotic movie of the same name. Throw in (likely) environmental catastrophe, worldwide economic collapse, peak oil, Al Qaeda with Pakistani nukes, Obama the Antichrist, a zombie-cannibal plague, and apocalypse is in the air, la-la. Now comes the starkest doomsday movie yet, The Road, from a novel by Cormac McCarthy, our priest of high-toned despair. McCarthy will never get over the end of the Age of Good Men (which never existed, but don’t tell him that). He has staked his career on the idea that we’re entering a time of humanity in extremis, one in which chaos is ascendant and cannibalism, literal and metaphorical, is the rule, not the exception. The road of The Road is paved with literal cannibals. But it’s also a metaphor for the blind imperative of a father, “The Man” (Viggo Mortensen), to keep his son, “The Boy” (Kodi Smit-McPhee), both eating and uneaten.

What brought about the blinding flash that ends civilization? McCarthy isn’t telling, and neither are director John Hillcoat and screenwriter Joe Penhall. Project on this disaster what you will. (See the list above.) The dying world through which father and son trudge is monochromatic—faded browns, grays from sooty to milky, an occasional splash of dark blood. Green is history. Bare trees tumble. Fires spring up. Human bones dot the landscape. There was once a mother, “The Woman” (Charlize Theron), whom we see in The Man’s dreams, but her maternal instincts fell (strangely) by the wayside. Only The Man persists. “The child is my warrant,” he narrates. “If he is not the word of God, then God never spoke.” It might have been Darwin who spoke—but let’s not go there.

On its own grueling terms, The Road works. It brings you down, down, down, and its characters’ famishment is contagious: Your heart leaps at the sight of a can of peaches. Mortensen, bearded, smudged, greasy-haired, has a primal, haggard beauty. He lectures his son on the need for “the fire inside,” and that’s what we see in his unblinking eyes as his body wastes away. He clutches a gun with two bullets and teaches The Boy to put the barrel in one’s mouth and pull the trigger—the thinking being that a quick death is better than slow starvation or being eaten. But that’s a last resort. Mostly he uses that gun to threaten and/or blow away anything that imperils his son. What’s odd is that although The Boy never knew the brotherhood-of-man era, he pleads—in a voice that hasn’t broken—to share their food and trembles with grief when his single-minded father remains unswayed by his humanism. Yet the father doesn’t mock his son: Part of him must want to keep The Boy a boy. “Are we the good guys?” his son asks again and again, as if chanting in prayer. “Yes,” says The Man.

The movie has a dogged integrity. An inept thief (Michael Kenneth Williams, the magnetic Omar from The Wire) seems too pathetic for The Man to punish but is cruelly punished anyway. When Robert Duvall totters on as “The Old Man” (a guest-star survivor, akin to the guest-star hillbillies in Cold Mountain), we think they might adopt him as a surrogate Gramps. But The Man sees him only as a drain on their food, and The Old Man gets the drift without being told. What a tough, smart actor Duvall is. The Old Man seems enfeebled, perhaps senile—until Duvall gives you glimmers of his caginess. Affecting frailty is a survival mechanism, too.

Evocative as it is, The Road comes up short, not because it’s bleak but because it’s monotonous, and because McCarthy’s vision is finally as inflexible as his patriarchal hero’s. (Having Mom lurch off is quite an evolutionary statement.) That said, the author-hero of 2012 (John Cusack), who wrote a book in which humans cling to their goodness on the brink of extinction, seems boobishly naïve. The truth is likely somewhere in the middle. But unlike these overeager doomsday fanatics, I hope never to find out.



harry brown
November 19, 2009, 9:16 pm
Filed under: Arts, movies | Tags: , , , ,

Ah. So that's what the bloody state pension pays for.

The movie is set in The Elephant and Castle where I, as a 17 year old, went to a strip joint in a well dodgy pub during a visit to London. If I’d have seen this film beforehand I’d not have gone within a mile of the area, never mind into its seedy interior.

Apparently Michael Caine is from “The Elephant” so this was probably quite a nostalgic road trip for him. In the movie he plays a vigilante gradually becoming more and more determined to avenge the brutal murder of his old mate (fast on the heels of his wife’s death) at the hands of a bunch of local scum who terrorise the neighbourhood.

This is no ordinary vigilante movie and, although I haven’t seen it, it must bear considerable comparison to Grand Torino where another fine actor in his latter years dominates a movie.

The casting is wonderful and the thugs that terrify the local community are entirely believable. But from start to finish this is Caine’s movie. He plays his part with massive pathos. We feel deeply sorry for him as, first, his wife and, then, his only chum pass away leaving him quietly tormented and then incredibly angry as he learns that his mates death was mockingly filmed on a mobile phone to the accompaniment of raucous laughter.

The brutality of this movie is searing and really shocking at times.  The riot scene is entirely believable, which is difficult to achieve on a low budget but certainly hits the spot.  It plays an important central role in undermining the police and showing them off as the useless and uncaring force that director, Daniel Barber is keen to establish .

Two things make this movie a real stand out; Caine and the pacing of the action.

It starts brutally slowly and gradually winds up in pace and tension but never to Hollywood proportions.  Don’t forget that Caine is a pensioner! Amazingly it holds your belief throughout – not an inconsiderable achievement in a genre that tends to become overblown and ridiculous.

I expect Michael Caine will get a BAFTA nomination for this (at the very least). He might even win because his performance is stunning. I certainly hope so.

His best performance? Arguably.

A great film?  Definitely.



coconuts
November 18, 2009, 4:01 pm
Filed under: family, photography | Tags: , , , ,

We’re on holiday this week. But not here. This is where we were in the summer in Portugal; Alvor to be precise.



tight tussles
November 18, 2009, 3:59 pm
Filed under: Scotland, golf, life, photography, sports, stories | Tags: , , , , ,

Awww. The lovely little deer. Wonder what they taste like?

I’ve played twice on The Queesn Course at Gleneagles so far this week.  Both times against my Glenmor neighbour and friend, David Low.  He’s been for lessons because we’ve had two right good scraps so far.  and he is unbeaten.  Yesterday I took it to the 18th before losing a ball on my drive.  Today though I came back from 3 down to sink a par putt on the 18th to half the match.

He was delighted!

My score improved by ten strokes in much better weather this morning and I shot a nett 69 which I was pretty pleased with.

But the st orm clouds are gathering and the rest of the week looks a bit unsettled, certainly for golf.

We saw a Buzzard (I think) yesterday and two deer were right in front of us on a sodden, but still frosty, first fairway at 8.15 this morning.



we are Derren Brown
Could you close the door behind you on the way out?